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  • DCEmu Games Reviews Latest News

    by Published on January 1st, 2011 17:00
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    2. PS3 News,
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    I know its part of the orange box, but I'm just gonna review TF2, mmmkay?

    All online, all shooting and all cartoonish, Valve has a good sequel to the questionably "good" Team Fortress. Because there is no storyline, i guess thats all for that part.

    TF2 is an all multiplayer class based shooter, much like its predecessor. There are nine classes which include Scouts, Pyros, Soldiers, Demoman, Heavies, engineers, medics, snipers,and spies. The presentation when it comes to connection is usually terrible. Joining games take unneccesarily long times and half the time the game displays rooms with open spaces but in turn states that its full or "no longer accepting players" (whatever the hell valve meant by that) when you try and join them. The classes are fairly well-balanced, but when it comes to the grind, the game can be terribly unfair, far worse then Halo or Gears., However, the game is terribly addicting, like Halo or Gears.

    Easily one of the best parts of the game is the character development, despite never having a story mode. You just kinda figure out their individual personalities and traits just by using them. Unfortunately, it doesn't go much further then that. The class based multiplayer sure is a blast, at least, when its fair. When you've got 3 enemy sentries, 2 soldiers, a medic, and 2 demomen placing bombs right outside your spawnpoint, its easy to tell Valve really didn't give a crap about the cheapness factor in the game so much as throwing it on the market.
    In other words, it can be a good game. But to games like R6V, Resistance, and Halo which ARE good games instead of CAN be good games, it falls pretty short.

    The graphics are another great thing about this game. Its endearing cartoon-style graphics perfectly compliment its blow-you-limbs-off with a rocket style of gameplay. All the characters are hilarious at times, the things they say. And the CG makes all of it possible.


    Presentation: 2/5
    Horrible connection issues, boring interfece and lack of gameplay modes kills it. Bad. Glitching is absolutely terrible and causes many games to where the opposite team has a terribly unfair advantage.

    Gameplay: 3.5/5
    While its a blast while the class-based multiplayer is WORKING, many a time the game will make absolutely no sense as to why some things happen.

    Graphics: 4/5
    Best part of the game. The cartoonish CG is perfect and original.

    Sound: 3/5
    While the gunshots and beats of a wrench work, there are no amazing things about the effects. Music is non-existent.

    Replay value
    : 4/5
    With nine classes, 6 maps and 3 gameplay modes it makes for a decent time. With more maps, weapons, and classes on they're way, it makes for a fun time. Granting you can bear the issues.


    I'm sure this will be argued. Alot. but the fact is, while I'm hopelessly addicted to it, I've easily seen all the crap this game has to offer. Still, its a solid experiance. At least, most of the time. ...
    by Published on January 1st, 2011 17:00
    1. Categories:
    2. Nintendo Wii News,
    3. DCEmu Games Reviews

    Wii Sports
    Publisher: Nintendo
    Developer: Nintendo
    Genre: Sports
    Players: 1-4, depending on game
    Get From: Goozex US/CAN / Goozex EU

    Overview : This is what video games should be: fun for everyone. Wii Sports offers five distinct sports experiences, each using the Wii Remote controller to provide a natural, intuitive and realistic feel. To play a Wii Sports game, all you need to do is pick up a controller and get ready for the pitch, serve or that right hook. If you've played any of these sports before, you're ready for fun!

    Features :
    • Play Tennis, Baseball, Golf, Bowling and Boxing in the comfort of one's living room. No ball boys scurrying about, no oil from the alleys to get players dirty and no rain to keep anyone from a day at the court, park or course. Use the Wii Remote controller to mimic the actions of swinging a racket, bat or club, roll a ball down an alley or bring the left jab.
    • Players can use their own Mii caricatures in the game and play them against their friends' Miis for a more personalized experience. As players improve, their Miis' skill levels will increase, so that they can see exactly how much better they've become.
    • People of all skill levels can pick up and play any of the games in the unprecedented Wii Sports package, making this truly a title for everyone!

    Gameplay : Nintendo decided to include a game with every Nintendo Wii console purchased. This is a great way to show off the Wiis new intuitive control scheme. When every swing and motion of the Wii remote, you perform certain motions. With the ease of a swinging a bat or tennis raquet motion will perform a swing. The motion of a golf swing, throwing a bowling ball or punching will perform each respective motion.

    There is pratically no learning curve to Wii Sports. You simply pick up the Wii remote and just start swinging away. A child and elderly can enjoy the game easily.

    • Tennis (1-4 players): Players grab the Wii Remote like a racket and swing – the game registers forehands, backhands, volleys, lobs, slices, spin and power depending on how fast the user swings and at what angle. Don't worry about moving around the court to get to the ball – the game automatically moves players into position.
    • Baseball (1-2 players): Players grip the Wii Remote like a bat and swat fastballs out of the park, or fire a fastball over the plate with a flick of their wrist. Timing and bat speed will make all the difference between going yard and whiffing, so keep an eye on the ball and swing for the fences. In the two-player game, one player pitches and the other bats – all fielding and running is automatic, so that players can focus on the action.
    • Golf (1-4 players): Step up to the tee, hold the Wii Remote like a golf club and swing naturally to smack the ball onto the green. The harder players swing the club, the farther the ball will fly. Be careful, though – if players swing too hard, their ball will fly out of control, so they should be sure to take some practice swings before going for the pin. After reaching the green, line up putts carefully, practice the stroke and try to hole out.
    • Bowling (1-4 players): Players raise the Wii Remote in their hand just like a bowling ball, and then swing their arms to roll the ball. The speed of the swing and the angle at which they release the ball affects the ball's spin, so it will take some practice to master control over the ball and knock down the pins.
    • Boxing (1-2 players): Using the Nunchuk™ controller as one glove and the Wii Remote as the other, players dodge, weave and punch their opponents. Players hold their hands high to guard their faces or low to block their torsos. They punch high to hit their opponents' faces or low to get under their guard for a body blow. Swing both arms left or right to sidestep oncoming blows and move into position for a devastating knockout.

    There is also a Training mode as well as a Fitness mode. In Training mode you complete certain tasks and try to earn medals and move onto the next level. Fitness mode is just that. Getting in shape. Just playing regular boxing can help you get in shape but if you would like to keep track of your fitness, Fitness mode is the way to go.

    Graphics : The graphics are not mind blowing as you would find on the PlayStation3 or Xbox360 but nice, unique and simple. Purpose is to show off how the Wii works. Each characted featured in Wii Sports are known as Mii. With the Nintendo Wii, you can create yourself and play as yourself or make other celebrities and play as them.

    Sound : Nothing fancy. The music is just generic music being played over and over. You'll have the occassional fans in the background cheering. I must say though, the music goes great with the game and does not get annoying where you have to turn down volume.

    Replay Value : Wii Sports is a great game for get-togethers and to show off the potential of the Wii. Some games have great replay value such as Tennis, Bowling, Boxing. Golf and Baseball on the other hand is ...
    by Published on January 1st, 2011 17:00
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    2. PS3 News,
    3. Xbox 360 News,
    4. DCEmu Games Reviews

    1942: Joint Strike
    Publisher: Capcom
    Developer: Backbone Entertainment
    Genre: Flight Shooter
    Players: 1-2
    Price: $10
    Platforms: XBLA (Version reviewed), PSN

    Namco's recreation of the classic 1942 is less then perfect.

    No one will argue that top down shooters are one of the greatest classic game types ever made. Still no one will argue that they can be fun to play. Take Ikaruga for example; its a top down shooter and uses a classic formula like all the rest. But tweaks and extra stuff make the game much more enjoyable, though its still tough like many 1942-esqe shooters. Nanostray is another example of how the classic can still be good today. 1942, the cult classic that inspired all of this, had you back in WWII fighting off Japanese bombers, and it was a great arcade game back when it first debuted, and an even better Co-op game. So here we are today with Capcom's remake of the classic dubbed as 1942: Joint Strike. As far as classic remakes go this is pretty well done. But Capcom might well have made it a little too faithful to its roots. Read on...

    When you start up the game you'll see what may be the most annoying part of the game. The menu screen. Don't get me wrong, the menu screen is fantastic; the effects and old style mission cards are great. However, every move you make in the menu is marked by the absolutely annoying roar of airplanes flying in from the side of the menu, which at first is kinda neat, but after the twenty-seventh time, I've more then heard it enough. And here is the next problem; if you don't have anyone to play local co-op with you like I didn't, then you will miss the best part of the game. After uncountable attempts to find someone over XBL to play, I couldn't even finish the game because the connection timed itself out and made both of us log off. Since that one time I've never been able to find another gamer to play the game out co-op with, and even though I got enough in to write the co-op section of the review, no one is gonna buy this for single player. No one with sense, anyway.

    The graphics had a major overhaul, and they are pretty nice.

    Co-op is what this game is made for. Hence the name "JOINT" strike. (Which I never actually could do, btw....) As far as co-op goes this game is fairly impressive. 3 ships and 3 special Joint possible attacks add a bit more game time after you've played through the 20 minute campaign mode with a friend. Taking down bosses together is always fun, and if both you and your friend get the dual lasers power-up then you can basically keep a constant blue streak going across every part of the screen, eradicating most enemies before you even see them. No special modes, but 5 difficulty levels and some "decent" achievements. As for the difficulty levels...without a buddy, you almost can't beat campaign mode, period. No continues whatsoever, and you can't save the game at any point. This game can be even more frustrating then Ikaruga, believe it or not. And when you can't beat the game when you don't have a companion, and trying to find a fellow gamer on Xbox LIVE is like trying to find one on Space Giraffe, the games "game" falls flat. Co-op is the saving grace, but thats only even "good". The gameplay itself isn't broken, but this game has just enough problems to ensure that it breaks most of the fun the gameplay can offer.

    The graphics aren't really too bad for a remake of an old sprite based game. 3D models for most enemies and environments, and they don't look very bad either. A good color pallete of pastels gives the game a lighter feeling, as opposed to a dark and serious feeling. I unfortunately can't rant on and on about the animations and character models as I would like to since there really aren't any. This is planes we're talking about after all. Screen tearing does occur, and it is a bit noticeable since there is usually not too much variety in the things going on on screen at any one time. The one time I was able to play online the framerate was pretty messy at some points, specifically during the 1st and 4th levels. The weapon effects are bright and neat though, but when you drop a bomb the explosion sometimes clips through the level. Overall though, the revamped graphics aren't too shabby. The old style DANGER screen is pretty cool too. Really though, this a top down shooter. How much more is there to say?

    On 2 stars or higher, you will never make it here on singleplayer.

    Wow...this is one of my shortest reviews I think I've made in a long time. But really theres not much to say about this game. Except maybe that for the value this game really isn't worth it. $5 maybe, but $10 is just cruel. If you've got a friend whos willing to purge the money with you, it may be worth it, but otherwise its just another shooter, and one thats almost impossible by yourself.

    Story: N/A
    Its not gonna be added to the score because its not supposed to be about the story.
    Graphics: 3.5/5
    The graphics had a huge overhaul from the arcade days of 1942, and it really does work. Minor issues are still present though.
    Sound: 3/5
    The menu airplanes drove me nuts, and all around the music is bland and the sound effects are decent.
    Gameplay: 3/5
    The game is all about co-op, and quite frankly it does it well. However, single-player is boring and unfair, and there isn't a single soul to play against on XBL.
    Replayability: 2.5/5
    If it wasn't for being able to go through it many times with a friend the score would be much, much lower. Campaign is only about 20-30 minutes long.
    Value: 2.5/5
    $5 and we'll talk, but for $10 this game will rip you off. Ikaruga is a much better choice at the same price.
    by Published on January 1st, 2011 17:00
    1. Categories:
    2. Nintendo DS News,
    3. DCEmu Games Reviews

    Because my best review yet got deleted before it was even posted.

    Sid Meier's Civilization Revolution
    Publisher: 2K Games
    Developer: Firaxis
    Players: 1-2
    Genre: Turn based Strategy
    ESRP: $29.99

    A revolution for handheld TBS games, in a good way.

    I've been a Civilization series fan since the release of Civilization: Call to Power. Funny that I thought it was so great, since critics didn't. But I wasn't alone as it seemed, since it ended up being one of the best selling Civilizations of all time and...well never mind that. Point is that the turn-based Civilization series has always had a place in my gaming psyche. Civilization Revolution actually seems in a way like a step backward from the Civilization Revolutions out on the PS3 and 360. But that's easily to be expected from a handheld iteration of the game that was always speculated to just be a crappy console port like most DS games that are cross-console seem to be. Well rest assured Civilization fans that they didn't screw the DS version up. However, they did take it down a notch on features, as you could imagine(Did you really think that a handheld version of console game could possibly be as good?). The end result of these changes makes the game feel a whole lot like a mix between Civilization IV and Civilization II. You'll find out why in a minute.

    Like past Civilization games, the point of the game is to build a Civilization from scratch, and win the game through either a Cultural, Military, Scientific, or Wealth Victory. Any one of these will lead you to Victory, though all of them take time to accomplish. About time. Previous Civilization games often took many, many hours, and often, days to win the game through some form of victory. It was practically impossible to beat it in an afternoon, much less a few hours. Civilization DS doesn't follow that same formula. I probably beat the Free mode, which was "The Game" for past Civilizations, in about 2-3 hours. That doesn't mean your through though, it practically means you haven't even begun. Each map in Free mode is randomly generated, so it has an infinite amount of ways your Civilization can go. This, combined with the ability to choose from a host of Civilizations, leads to not only a wasted afternoon, but a possible wasted month, depending on how much you like it. I mentioned how you can choose from many Civilizations to start your game. This isn't just for looks like the Civilizations of old used to have them. Each Civilization has its own skill about them that makes it more or less good or bad at whatever. The thing is, through out my play, the skills I had for my Civilization didn't seem to make much of a difference in the least, it didn't seem to help my opponents in the game very much either. I guess its to keep it as equal as possible, but that's where "honing your strengths" comes in. About knowing your strengths and weaknesses...this game has a pretty iffy learning curve.

    It looks pretty complicated, but you'll get used to it fast.

    Most Civilizations in the past had a fairly steep learning curve to them, and while Civ Rev is no exception, it does seem to be a bit less complicated this time around. Having played Civ Rev on the console and Civilizations in the past, I was able to jump in quickly to the games more sophisticated points,(government, science, city management blahblahblah) but I soon found that most of them feel like they've had a downgrade to them. Not a downgrade in features so much as the game does more of the annoying stuff for you.(This may be why it is so much easier to play through the game so fast) For example, after almost everything that happens, an advisor pops up and gives you a hint as to what to do next. However, you can disable this from the option menu. When that's taken away, you soon figure out that the reason it feels more downgraded is because the menus are so simplified. Each thing tells you exactly what they do and how they do it, whether they be wonders, building, units, etc. Rather then this ending up being annoying, it becomes helpful, and allows the game to progress more smoothly. Now something that hasn't been simplified at all, or maybe its been OVER simplified, is battling.

    Probably the biggest part of any Civilization game are the battles. if your a fan then you know most of the issues already: Weaker enemies constantly beating stronger enemies, defensive terrain sometimes counting for nothing, and the oh-too-often knight destroying the helicopter.(Yes, it does happen. Still.) But Civ Rev gets a little extreme on it. At one point in the game I was attempting to take over an enemy city. They had a single archer defending it and I had about 7 legions, 8 riflemen, 2 knights, and 3 cannons standing at ready to be thrust in fierce battle. As I send each of them, the battle animations take place, and my jaw just drop out of frustration. Each and ever one of my units could not score a SINGLE hit against the archer. Each time I attacked the archer shot one arrow and nailed them before they even got close. Now this doesn't mean the whole battle system is screwed up, though it seemed like that when I tried. It meant more that archers CANNOT BE KILLED. At first i thought it was just because I was using short range attackers, but when my riflemen couldn't score a shot, I got pissed. Good news is, where all 20 of my units failed, I sent a tank and mauled that archer. That really was the main time that something that screwy happened in the games battle system. Granted, the battle system suffers from the same problems of the past Civilization games, but ranged units seem to be good against just about everything in this game. Close combat unit battles seem to be the most fair thing about the combat. Now about the graphical aspects of the combat system...

    As you can probably tell from the screnshots, this game isn't the most beautiful thing you've ever seen. If anything it reminds me of Civilization II for the PSX; it was a great strategy game but its graphics looked like chop suey. But when it comes to battles, this game sports some really great looking sprite-animated battles. Unlike past(way past) Civ games, Civ Rev takes off Civ IV with real time battles when engaged. (And if your losing, you can even retreat before they are all dead) While some of the earlier units sprites look questionably good, later sprites like Bombers and tanks look very nice when blasting off rounds in a certain archer's forehead. While battles look pretty good, the rest of the game has some pretty awful graphics. All sprites, and all without changing animations for directions, they all look bad. Now you can take it from me though-- the more you play the game, the less you'll care. I was less then thrilled to play this game when I first started, but after about 30 minutes the graphical mess didn't even bother me a bit. Its weird; its like the strategic element of the gameplay makes your mind forget all about the other aspects of the game. Still, whether you forget them or not, they are still there, and many of you won't be shutting your mind out to the graphics. Well, it is supposed to be all about thinking right? So images shouldn't matter much, right?.....uh...

    Well for the most part anyway, though this game really could have used some better sprites, since it could have easily handled them. Unlike graphics though, the SFX is something you probably won't block out of your head. Civ Rev has some very clear and nice sound effects. Knights and warriors beating each other up have the distinct sound of steel against metal, and clubs against shields. I guess this falls mostly under the category of "battle sounds" though. As for other sounds, well, there aren't too many. However, for most of your accomplishments, such as building a city, or creating a unit, or finishing a wonder, they all have some charming SFX to each of them. Something that i wouldn't mind muting indefinitely is the terrible, half-muttered, half-gibberish that your opponent Civilization leaders say when you talk to them about war, money, advances ect. But that may well be a good thing, because it gives you a definitive reason to want to destroy they're civilization. As far as music goes, there really isn't whole bunch of it here. The few numbers are during battle sequences and the menu screens. Both of them have some nice sounding tunes to them, but each is too short to really make you care.

    They are no match for us, now, or ever!

    Now Civilization isn't all about battling, as I probably made it sound, though it is a major part. You have to make your own Civilization flourish before you can try to take down other civilizations. The key to this is city improvements, or buildings, that you construct in your cities. As you make more buildings, you cities will begin to produce more gold, more production to build things faster, more science to find new stuff, new food to thrive..a good lot of things. About science. Like past Civilization games, science is quite possibly the single most important thing in the game(Though if you go all toward science, you'll still fail. You need a good balance.) As you learn more things you are able to make more advanced weapons and improvements, and even wonders. Now these things are where Civ Rev really shines. the strategic elements to this game are great, especially considering its a handheld game. Most handheld TBS games are stripped of most of they're best and most in-depth features. Like I said earlier, it is stripped of a good bit of features from the console versions, but it has more then enough to make it an authentic Civilization experience. If you do things right, and keep the right balance at the right times, your Civilization will thrive. If you create a terrible balance, or don't balance enough toward a certain thing at a certain time, you probably won't make it to your next turn.

    Lets finish this up, so my entire review doesn't get lost again...

    Major Selling Points:
    -- Great handheld strategy game
    -- Very deep and intuitive gameplay
    -- A faithful Civilization Recreation
    -- Random maps means infinite gameplay

    Major Breaking Points:
    -- Horrible Overworld graphics
    -- Some unfair battle issues
    -- Feels a little stripped

    Story: N/A
    Since there really isn't a direct story, this can't really be a score
    Graphics: 2.5/5
    Pretty horrific. The sprites even aren't that good, but battling they look fairly slick.
    Sound: 4/5
    The sounds that are here sound great. Music is good too, but short, and doesn't play very often.
    Gameplay: 4/5
    Despite some combat issues and some stupid A.I., Civ Rev is a deep, fulfilling strategy game. The touch screen can or can't be used, your choice.
    Replay Value: 4.5/5
    Random maps means tons of replay value in free mode alone, not even counting the many scenarios and WiFi play.
    Value: 4/5
    A great strategy game that is well worth the price, but only if your into strategy games. otherwise you may get bored, fast.
    A great, if scaled down, Civilization experience to fit in your pocket. It has the makings of a good TBS game, and is a great start for the genre on handhelds.
    by Published on January 1st, 2011 17:00
    1. Categories:
    2. Xbox 360 News,
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    Geometry Wars: Retro Evolved 2
    Publisher: Activision
    Developer: Bizarre Creations
    Genre: Arcade Shooter
    Players: 1-4 (Offline)
    MSRP: 800 MS point ($10, £6.80, €9.30)
    Platform: Xbox 360

    Geometry has never been so fun.

    Geometry Wars: Retro Evolved was one of the first XBLA titles on the market. Despite debuting almost three years ago, the five dollar shooter-that-could is still being played like a drug by many to this day. Its still a mystery to some how such a simple game could be so fun and addictive. I've never really been much of a Robotron fan, which has obviously influenced this game a good bit, so I was among the doubters. However, after playing Geometry Wars: Retro Evolved 2 for even just a few hours, I can see how this craze "evolved"(pun intended). Bizarre Creation's sequel to the LIVE hit seems to be just what fans wanted; more modes, more leaderboards, and even more simple and colorful gameplay. Read on, though you probably already know from my opening statements how THIS review is gonna end.

    The best way to describe Geometry Wars graphical style in a word is probably, "Rave". This game absolutely bursts with electronic style and color. The effects of the game are its best graphical feature. Brilliantly colored particle effects and explosions always keep this game visually appealing, and its one of the few Arcade games that can be as fun to watch as it is to play. The warping of the map with bombs and explosions catch the eye especially well. Enemies and the main character are extremely simple. Then again, they are supposed to be simple, and the fact that they are nothing more then geometric shapes gives the game a much better opportunity to make them both appealing to the eye and diverse. Everything in the game glows, literally. Really, I don't have pretty much anything negative to say about the graphics of this game. They are extremely simple, yet the colors and effects make this 2D game stand out greatly in a world where 3D has taken over. The only thing that really is only "average" in the graphical style is probably the menus. They still look like classic arcade menus, which is kind of neat, but it could have used a flashier display then it has.

    "Hypnotic" doesn't begin to describe this.

    The graphics were very electronically styled. That's not the only thing though, as the music follows suit. The original only had one soundtrack, and though it wasn't too shabby, it did get old after a while. This time, however, they added a custom track to each one of the six game modes. To me, most of the music sounded too similar to each other, bar Evolved mode, which had a really catchy tune. All of the music seems to have near the same beat, which really may make it get on the nerves of some people. Personally the music didn't get too annoying, as after a while my ears just tuned it out. While each of the game modes have fairly decent music, the menu music is, for the most part, absolutely unnoticeable. Its not such a big deal, but I really wouldn't have minded some better music to listen to while watching the leaderboards to decide whose score I'm gonna debunk next.

    Sound more or less follows the music in being 'average'. The SFX absolutely works for what its supposed to, don't get me wrong. But the same sound every time you shoot and every time an enemy goes up in a cloud of colorful particles does leave a bit to be desired. Enemies are silent. Some of the modes have some pretty neat effects though; in King once you step outside a ring the music mutes, only to resume upon reaching another ring. In deadline, the music builds to a climax exactly at the end of the game, and so on and so forth. So there are some neat little things in the sounds, but the things that you hear by far the most are a bit too repetitive. Nothing here will make you get very annoyed though, since the music usually blocks the major part of the sounds.

    Making a jump here to the gameplay. The original Geometry Wars: Retro Evolved had only a single game type. Geometry Wars RE2 comes with six different game modes, all fun, though some more then others. The six modes include Deadline, King, Evolved, Pacifism, Waves, and Sequence. In Deadline, you get five minutes to rack up as much points as you can. You have infinite lives though, but each time you die the enemies are reset, which gives you less chance for points. In King, you must shoot from within circles that appear on the ground. Enemies can't enter the circles, though you can't shoot outside the circles. Also, the circles die out in about 2-3 seconds, so you have to keep moving. Evolved is the original Geometry Wars mode, where you have a number of lives and just rack up points as long as you can. In Pacifism you cannot shoot. You rely solely on lines that you can pass through to blow up enemies around you while trying to survive. Waves has you constantly fighting wave after wave of enemies until you finally can't keep up. Last but not least in sequence, where you have 20 levels and try to survive all of them.

    That's not a glitch-- the level warping is a graphical effect.

    None of these game modes are boring. In fact, just about every one of them is fun, though some more then others. Deadline seems to be more inclined toward those learning how to play, since death doesn't really have any lasting toll on you in this mode. Therefore more hardcore players may get bored with this mode after only a few times. King is a mode that will keep you interested for a while. Since circles aren't always very close to each other, you need to always be sure to remember to keep a path open to the next circle. This can get very difficult late in the game, since the snake enemies can almost "wrap" around your circle and deny you access to another. Evolved is this games Classic mode. If you never played the GW:RE 1 then this may be one of the best modes, as it is the most simple but ultimately challenging mode, depending on how long you can survive. Pacifism is probably the most unique mode. Since you cant fire a shot, this mode revolves around how good you are at luring enemies into line traps and them manoeuvring yourself out from between the remaining enemies. The gameplay here may be a little too simple, though it still remains pretty enjoyable. Waves may be the least interesting of the modes; it has many waves of the same enemy coming at you every few seconds. Soon after it has a few renegade enemies to try and distract you from the waves. This game mode usually relays on the many colorful explosions to make you not see the enemies until its too late. Really, its a bit cheap. Sequence will have you trying the longest. Each level that you progress through hundreds of enemies come at you at once, which ends up being extremely hard, but also very fun. The challenge is present to some of the best players by level 5, and it only gets harder. The replay value for this mode is very high.

    Now that I've explained all the modes, I'll move on to what makes the core of each. Every gameplay mode still has you destroying mostly the same enemies in the same way. If you aren't really very fond of the core gameplay, then this game has little else to offer you. However, the core is also very simple which allows newcomers and veterans of Geometry Wars to enjoy its simple but highly addicting gameplay. Another addicting part of this game is the leaderboards. I for one have never cared in practically any game about leaderboards or besting my friends scores. Geometry Wars changed that. Because the boards are always staring at you from the game menu, you feel compelled to try and get the best score you can. it will make you go back many, many times to try and best your buddies, and your own score. This adds a huge amount of longevity to the game.

    Awesome explosions are commonplace.

    Not to mention local multiplayer, which is an awesome inclusion to the game as well. There are two types of modes for each, well, mode in Geometry Wars; there is Co-op and versus. In Versus mode you and a friend try to get scores better then each other. If one person dies, the other one can keep fighting until he's gone too. Co-op mode has you and some friends blasting enemies for a combined high scores. Oh, and you can add up to 4 people in a game. As a party game, this is the one of the best XBLA titles out there. You have never experienced Geometry Wars until you have 4 people playing at once. Also in multiplayer is the addition of powerups, which give you enhanced speed or a bomb or a shield. This takes the place of your bombs in single player. The only real problem with multiplayer is that some parts of it felt like it was an after though, only added in because they had to. I'm mainly talking about how it really just feels like single player with allies in co-op. Versus is made pretty well, but in Co-op, you can't really do any special things like joint attacks or give your pal a life if he dies. Other then that, multiplayer is just what the doctor ordered. Its just too bad that they don't have online multiplayer, that would have added much more replay value. C'mon Activision, make a patch!

    Well that's that.

    Major Selling points:
    -- Highly colorful and appealing graphics
    -- Classic Gameplay feel
    -- Addicting gameplay and leaderboards
    -- 6 gameplay modes
    -- Simple and accessible gameplay

    Major Breaking points:
    -- Simplistic gameplay may bore some
    -- Some gameplay modes may get repetitive
    -- Leaderboards may not appeal to some, reducing a lot of replay value
    -- No Xbox LIVE play

    Story: N/A
    Not added to final score.
    Graphics: 4.5/5
    One of the best looking Arcade titles available, and maybe on of the best 2D games I've ever seen this generation.
    Sound: 4/5
    The electronic soundtrack is alright, but the sound effects leave a bit to be desired.
    Gameplay: 4.5/5
    Absolutely addictive and fun Arcade style gameplay. 6 gameplay modes give a good enough variety for most people to like it.
    Replay Value: 4.5/5
    6 gameplay modes will have you constantly going back to try and better your score, and leaderboards will have you bettering other peoples scores too. The lack of LIVE play really hurts.
    Value: 4/5
    At $10, this game is quite a nice value. It will last you a long time if you like the core gameplay. Multiplayer is pretty fun as well.
    by Published on January 1st, 2011 16:59
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    Publisher: High Voltage Software
    Developer: High Voltage Software
    Genre: Arcade Shooter
    Players: 1-4
    Price: $7

    gyrostarr is an arcade shooter that adds elements that no other shooter out there has done before, but is that a good thing?

    Unlike most arcade shooters, The goal of this game is not to destroy waves of enemies that come at you, but to collect bright orbs that come at you every now and then.

    By collecting this orbs, a bar located at the top of the screen will be filled, Fill the barr up to the first hoop, and you beat the level, fill it up completely and you go to bonus level.


    Bonus levels are very easy to get and not fun at all, I found my self avoiding the orbs JUST so that I didn't have to go through the bonus level, What it is, is a regular level, except that the enemies are taken off leaving you with nothing to do, except collect orbs and bombs.

    There are some power ups you can grab along the way such as three bullets per shot, rapid fire, bigger bullets, ect, unfortunately these power ups only last a few seconds, and there is no way to know precisely how long the power ups last (unless you count in your head while playing)

    Aside from being short lasting, they are not very impressive, anyone could have thought of bigger bullets, and faster fire rate as a power up, but at least we are getting them.

    Also, for whatever reason, you can blow away orbs and power ups with your bullets, something you DON'T want to do, which will make you stop and think before you pull that trigger, luckily, you can ether press up or down on the D-pad and it will launch some type of electric hook which will grab power ups and orbs that you may have blown off, or are simply out of your reach.

    Three bullets at once!? what WILL they think of next?

    Gyrostarr allows you to play with up to three friends, which is fun.....but confusing, That is why it is best to play with just two people, That way you won't be asking others which ship is yours and how many times you have died, just to find out that the ship you THOUGHT you were all along was actually your friend, and that sucker who kept dying was actually you.

    The graphics are average for a wiiware game, some power ups DO make bright and shiny bullets that may catch you eye for a second or too, but other then that, everything is pretty average.

    The game features some ok beats but are usually overshadowed by the sound of bullets, explosions, and speed boosts wich may or may not be a good thing depending on what you like to hear, luckily you can go to the audio options menu and choose what you want to hear the most: Music, or Effects.

    They are both at 100% as default.

    Replay Value:
    Depending on whether or not you have friends to play with, the replay value will change, if you DO have friends then it is good, and if not, then it becomes a one time play through.

    As a new addition to my reviews, I will be rating the difficulty of games from the easiest option available to the hardest. So I designed a chart to show how easy the easiest difficulty is, and how hard is the hardest:


    If you have a friend or two to play with, you just HAPPEN to have $7 on your pocket, AND you like this type of games, then I say GO FOR IT! but if you are an only child with no friends to play, and you could use the money for something else, then I would recommend you passing out on this one.

    Final Score:

    my review survey
    by Published on January 1st, 2011 16:59
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    With an a new "card" for my DS, I have been inspired to go back to my forsaken DS and try out more DS games. Safe to say you can probably expect more NDS game reviews from here on out.

    Dementium: The Ward
    Publisher: Gamecock
    Developer: Renegade Kid
    Genre: Survival-Horror FPS
    Players: 1
    ESRP: $29.99

    An ideal example for later Horror games on DS. Sort of.

    Game Summary
    In Dementium: The Ward, the take the role of an unnamed admitted patient to a mental hospital. After awakening in a daze, you find yourself one a blood-soaked bed in one of the rooms. Thats not the only blood-drenched feature you find in the hospital, as you soon realize that this may either be a hospital, or a butchery. Fight with up to 8 different weapons against a myriad of horrific monsters as you strive to understand the secrets of Dementium: The Ward.

    You wake up in the hospital...
    And thats as near close to a story as you get in this game. The storyline is one thing thats not a major seller for Dementium. As far as interaction with others in this game, you get absolutely none, which makes you depend on various notes and clipboards in the mental asylum to figure out the story. Even then, even after you pieced everything together, you'll find yourself thinking "Oh...really. Well thats a twist...I think." Suffice to say, the storyline never goes beyond a single idea to make it good, and even that idea is a bit overused. I think I should back up a bit and talk about the beginning. The Prologues in games are usually one of the single most important parts of the storyline, where it sets the setting, most characters, and the general idea and gist that the game was trying to make its players feel. Not this one. The beginning is literally just you being rolled in a wheelchair through a blood-and-guts filled hospital with demonic little girls and zombies in it. This lasts about 15 seconds. Next thing you know, you wake up on your nasty bed, and go to beat up some monsters. Now this game does have cut-scenes(surprise.), but for the most part, they are only there to introduce you to new monsters, or to fight a boss. There is almost no spoken dialogue in the game, and the written dialogue is usually just confusing. If you get horror games for the often-superb storyline, then well, this game isn't for you.

    Gore - Now in 3D
    And I'm not talking about the tree hugger. Dementium is one of the few games to sport a high res 3-dimensional engine on the DS. Enemies too are fully rendered in 3D, and they are probably the high point of the 3D engine in Dementium. The enemies, although they may look at sometimes more funny then scary, are very well done for a DS game, and look even better then most N64 game enemies. Sometimes the enemies can look downright stupid, though. Take for example the screaming heads, or "banshees". Scary, sure, but not because of how they look. They look more similar to a cats head with madusa snakes then a decapitated woman's head. Regardless of a few fimply dumb looking enemies, Renegade Kid showed devs that full 3D is not only possible on the DS, it can be made both good, and solid. By solid, I mean that there are little to no clipping issues, glitches, textural errors, framerate issues, or pop-in. The engine is about as hard as a rock. Anyway. Environments are mainly texture based, as just about every wall and floor in the game is the same white wall with blood on it. Courtyard levels prove a little more varying, with some walls looking decrepid and old, and others having rusted surface on it. Now about the darkness. Renegade Kid went beserk when it comes to shadowing areas. To put it simply, when you fire at most enemies, you won't know whether you hit them or not. The flashlight illuminates these areas, but to shoot your gun you have to switch back to a gun, thus making you basically blind for far enemies. It has a severe case of Doom 3-itus to it, except you can't even melee with it this time around. But to be truthful, this game really wouldn't be scary at all without every room being dark as hell. Still, it becomes very frustrating, especially when fighting zombies that spit acid further then you can see. Environments are littered with, well, litter, among other things. Blood splashed trash cans, hospital beds, medicine cabinets and many other hospital-esqe appliances pervade, and often impede, the world of Dementium.

    The 3D engine at work. And it does some good work.

    Creek...creek...*piano solo*
    Sound. The music is one of the major defining features to make this game a horror game. Creepy organ and piano music plays while grunts of zombies and screams echo the hallways. There is an option to turn off the music though, in which case the game does became a good deal less scary. Though the scariest thing here is that most of the music all sounds exactly the same. Another odd designer choice is that some certain rooms don't have music at all, and I still can't well figure out what sets these rooms apart from the others. Music is the scary to this games sound department. Occasionally the sound effects offer a little shiver, but it was too apparent that Renegade Kid was arbitrarily trying to make it scary, so most of the enemies just come off sounding funny. Can't blame them too much, creating a scary handheld game is quite possibly one of the hardest things a dev can do. To that end the sound and music does make the game a good deal scarier--but that doesn't mean that either is very good. They both work though they will get annoying.

    I bet he's friendly.

    A bit broken, but survival horror at the core
    This game may very well be the first well made attempt at survival horror for the DS. Coming into a world of E and E10 rated games pervading the DS's huge library of games, Dementium sets itself apart, which can be seen even from the cover art(Which looks conspicuously like Final Doom. Anyone else catch that?). Dementium is a survival horror game to its core. It has the classic ideas at heart, such as limited ammo, few health packs, and a barrage of demonic monsters that don't seem to care how much ammo you have to waste on them to dispatch them. Ammo does become a bit more plentiful in the later levels, but you'll find yourself running past most enemies to try and conserve ammo for the most part. Beginning weapons are about as imaginative as my toenail, but later weapons are, while not exactly creative, welcome changes from the boring pistol and shotgun. now, the core shooting isn't exactly Metroid Hunters. Control works great, but some issues with the crosshair and where the bullet goes present problems. And even if the enemy is in visible sight, if your crosshair isn't red, you can't hit him. Most enemies, specifically the banshee, take an unnecessarily long time to kill with weapons, and with ammo very limited, that becomes a frustrating problem. Boss battles are rather fun, but some normal enemies are even harder then the bosses. Some intelligently designed puzzles are thrown into the game, but some become an annoyance to try and complete, such as the one to obtain the buzzsaw. You have to backtrack a good bit in that level, and every time you reenter a room, all the enemies you previously slain are respawned, to make you waste as much ammo as possible. Don't take this all the wrong way though; the shooter mechanics are a bit broken, but by no means bad. They worked well and fine, but many smaller annoyances can ruin some to most of the experience. Another thing is de ja vu. Most levels look extremely similar to one another, and may very well be, seeing as there are little to now landmarks to make me think otherwise. Core level design is done decently, but repetition may get on your nerves.

    Puzzles are consistantly numeric based.

    One way through, no two ways about it
    Replay value isn't Dementiums strong point. No multiplayer, no branching stories, and as far as I can tell, no different difficulties. The story mode is a decent length, but after that theres very little to do. I can't see myself playing through this a second time, and I doubt you will be either.


    Major Selling Points:
    -- A full survival horror adventure
    -- M rated on the DS
    -- Good scary game
    -- Great 3D engine

    Major breaking Points:
    -- Small Story
    -- Sub-par FPS control
    -- Repitition shows itself later in the game

    Story: 2/5
    Even with notes and booklets and whatnot, the story behind Dementium is, at best, flat.

    Graphics: 4/5
    One of the best 3D engines on the DS, and some of the best enemy models. Pity most environments look exactly the same.

    Sound: 3/5
    Music becames repetitive, and sound effects prove to be the main scary part of the game. Music is a bit scary though.

    Gameplay: 3.5/10
    An addition to the needed FPS genre on the DS, though the shooter mechanics need work. The survival horror is definatly there.

    Replay Value: 2.5/5
    A bit of a decent sized champaign mode, but after that you are done. Totally done. honestly though, If multiplayer was in here, I wouldn't want it. The shooter mechanics would be painful.

    Value: 3.5/5
    It really depends on how starved for a horror game you are on the DS. If your dying for one, heres your man. if not...well that comes into personal preference.


    Dementium raises no bars on the horror genre, but for DS, it sets a standard. Still, a bit better of an FPS nature to it wouldn't have hurt any.

    Audio reviews canceled.
    by Published on January 1st, 2011 16:59
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    Because Ninja Gaiden on DS = Awesomeness. At least the idea does.

    Ninja Gaiden: Dragon Sword
    Publisher: Tecmo
    Developer: Team Ninja
    Genre: Action
    ESRP: $39.99

    Ninja Gaiden Lite.

    Once again, you must take up the role of famed ninja Ryu Hayabusa, one of the last remaining of the Dragon Lineage. The Greater fiends plot to envelope the world in darkness and chaos, and Ryu is the world's last hope.(again.) Fight through a multitude of levels from tombs to volcanos as you battle to stop the fiend's ambitions.

    A Ninja's story. Rated PG.
    Ninja Gaiden isn't known for its amazingly in-depth storylines, or just about anything pertaining to the story. Rather, its known by its console versions for having absurd stories, that are often so wacky that they become good. Ninja Gaiden Dragon Sword isn't so easy to classify. Unlike the console versions Ninja Gaiden: Dragon Sword is aimed at the younger age group, obviously in response to the DS main customers. This means that the story won't be bloody, or nasty, or violent, or erotic, or whatever the normal Ninja Gaidens tend to do. Bare in mind though, that this isn't necessarily bad. The story itself isn't near as random as the other NGs, and its character design shows a good bit of cartoon influence. The characters each look as though they came out of an anime rather then the normal getting-to-realism look that Team Ninja primarily does. Still, some of the story is linear and you-saw-that-coming-miles-away, often during parts that are supposed to surprise you. As far as a 6-14 year olds game goes, though, the story is perfectly fitting. Cartoony characters combines with the classic 'caring' hero(I'll be honest with you. I do NOT see Ryu Hayabusa caring about pretty much anything but his duties. This game thinks otherwise.) with, while its still a bit unique, a linear and stereotypical story makes for a very well marketed NDS game.

    Again--damn, Ninjas look good
    Dragon Sword did for the DS what Team Ninja does for just about every console and game--created great looking character models with very fluent animations. Ryu looks spectacular, and even in his fast flurry of attacks you can see some very nice animation if you look closely enough.(Animation in a game has always been my favorite graphical part. If animation looks crappy, then...no.) Enemies are a bit different. While still sporting some decent looking Character models, compared to Ryu, Momijii and the bosses, they don't look as good. Mainly spider-ninjas and ware-wolves, but all around they do still look nice. Just not great. Enemy animations are still in tact though, as you can relate each one to its root animations in Ninja Gaiden Xbox. Most, anyway. Backgrounds are diverse and colorful, but interaction is non-existent. Unless there is a puzzle or a door, there is zero interaction with the environment. The freestyle running of the Ninja Gaidens has been taken out. There is a reason for this though. The backgrounds look 3D, but don't be too fooled, too fast. Most backgrounds, with a few exceptions, are fully 2D textures. That doesn't stop them from LOOKING 3D though, and to this day, the look has always been what matters most, not the technical ideas in place. As for technical stuff, even in the biggest battles I have never experienced a framerate drop. Clipping is very rare, and the whole engine is rather solid. Seems most DS game engines are that I've played. Ninpo effects are actually sprites(most of them), but they all look well done, and do give you the feeling that you have a little control over nature itself.

    Insert Rocky Balboa Music here.

    Ninja Gaiden Black, sound off
    Sound. The music mostly consists only of music from the original NG. Some lighter hearted songs were added in, probably because of the games younger audience. These are mainly in the Hayabusa village and other non-action parts of the game. But lets get something straight--it may be recycled, but that doesn't mean its all too bad. Annoying to my nerves, simply because I've played NG black before, but to most, it will seem like a decent and well placed soundtrack. Nothing amazing, but it certainly works for what it does. Sound effects also have been recycled, but there are a good bit of new ones in there. All dialogue is text; no voice acting. While it may be a shame to have no voice acting considering the job of the voice actors in the first NG it may or may not be so bad. You decide.

    Young Ryu? Nope. Nintendo Ryu.

    A furious fighting action title
    To let out a summery of whats to come: This game rocks. Gameplay. The core gameplay is just like the console NGs, i.e., slashing bashing and dicing enemies, while enjoying some light platforming puzzles. One may thing at first that Ninja Gaiden, being a usual button-masher game wouldn't fit well at all on the DS. Errrrr. The touch screen was made for these kinds of games. Unlike the normal NGs, Dragon sword has you play with only one hand. You hold the DS like you would a book, and use the touch screen vertically. To attack opponents you merely need to slash them with your stylus. Though it isn't that simple. Certain stylus movements string certain combos, and this game has combos aplenty. Despite having only one melee weapon, the Dragon Sword(I know, I know. I really wanted the Vigoorian Flails in there too.) there are multitudes of combos to pull off, including fan favorites such as the Izuna drop and the Flying Swallow. Buying upgrades for the sword and some extra combo scrolls boost the amount of attacks you can do. The only real annoyance with the combat system is to block you must press a button, often the left bumper where your other hand will be. But to roll, you have to touch a part on the screen, often making Ryu roll in the wrong direction. Besides that minor problem, the melee combat is one of the best on DS, though they really missed out without multiple melee weapons. Like past NG games, you also have ranged weapons, such as the bow and shurikan. Except this time, neither is useless and neither is boring. Simply tap the part of the screen you with to throw/shoot your weapon. Yes thats right, shurikan doesn't suck this time around.(Yeah I know, right?) Ninpo magic is like Ninpo on steroids. You can (and always do) take out many enemies with each massive ninpo you use, and there is a wide variety of element based magics in this game. Not all is good though. At most you can only use Ninpo one time before you must find another dragon statue to recharge it. About the dragon statues. They save, give you full health, and recharge your ninpo. However, in this game you can do that an infinite amount of times. Enemy combat is like watered down Ninja Gaiden. Nowhere near as hard, the enemies pose little threat until about chapter 6, where it starts to build up in difficulty. Even though it gets a bit challenging later on, by comparison this game has nothing on its console brothers in the way of difficulty. Enemies still do have cheap grab attacks, as per usual. Boss battles are linear, but fun. As conclusion to this paragraph, I'd say its probably one of the best DS action title I've ever played.

    Bosses are big and scary, but they're generally pushovers.

    2 Ninjas, 2 play-throughs. Maybe?
    After you beat the game, you get hard mode, which you won't beat. You also get some art. Finding all the Purple birds may be an addicting challenge. Momijji's campaign is fun, but short. Even Ryu's campaign is rather short, take only about 5-8 hours to beat, depending on how thorough you are. This game will last you a good time, but its not exactly the kinda of the the others were, where you had a huge multitude of unlockables. Trade it in after your done, but not until you DONE done.


    Major Selling Points:
    -- Fast and furious Ninja Action
    -- Looks great, good design
    -- Authentic Ninja Gaiden experience(unlike Sigma. You know why.)
    -- Endearing, if wacky, story

    Major breaking Points:
    -- May prove not difficult enough
    -- Only a single melee weapon
    -- Watered down Ninja Gaiden 2

    Story: 3.5/5
    Really not too bad. It does have some overly linear plot developments though, and is aimed mainly on the younger crowd.

    Graphics: 4.5/5
    Spectacular characters and design. Backgrounds look good, which really matter. Interaction doesn't exist.

    Sound: 4/5
    Its recycled Ninja Gaiden, sure. So?

    Gameplay: 4.5/5
    A great, authentic Ninja Gaiden experience. Deep hack and slash fighting, and some light puzzles.

    Replayability: 3.5/5
    There really is little to do after the first play through. The second campaign some may want to do though.

    Value: 4/5
    $40 may be a bit steep, but this is one of the DS finest. At least deserves a rent. And yes, Blockbuster does rent out NDS games.


    It may be Ninja Gaiden Lite, but the touch screen works something great, and all the ideas of NG are in tact. A great action game on DS; easily one of the best.
    by Published on January 1st, 2011 16:59
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    Published by: Nintendo
    Developed by: HAL Laboratory
    Genre: Action
    Number of Players: 1
    Price: $29.99


    OH NO! Kirby has been cursed! well, lets show everyone how we roll! in this amazing kirby game!

    Unlike the rest of the kirby games, here, you control kirby by drawing a path for him with your stylus, this takes some getting use to, but later on you will be able to fluently move him arround.

    You can tap kirby to make him attack and this will also absorb the power of anyone who has it, instead of sucking them in, he rolls faster.

    As always, you play as a ball of fat and air named kirby, except this time, you have been cursed, so now your arms and legs have been removed turning you into a perfectly circular sphere.

    Now that you are a sphere, you are trying to get revenge (and maybe your limbs too) but to do this, you must first go through a series of levels with bosses every three levels you complete; There are three different types of bosses, and you can choose which one to fight. (don't wanna spoil so I won't tell what they do)

    In each level there are three hidden medals you can collect to later spend away on extras from boring songs, to new playable characters!

    Gained some weight haven't we kirby?

    Even though the graphics are 2D, they look great, a game like this doesn't need 3D graphics, it is after all a side scroller. The backgrounds look colorful even when they are suppose to be dark, the characters are sprites, simple, but they fit in with the game's art style.

    Animations are not often seen, characters walk and explode, very simple, it seems as if they had $5 to make the animations you see in the game.

    This scene may have been scarry without the pink ball riding the rainbow.

    The game has fun and happy music for the most part, but it is mainly overshadowed by the sound effects, you really won't notice that it is there unless you listen for it.

    Replay Value:
    With unlockable characters and hidden medals, you will want to go back and play through some of the maps again (after you are done with a level, you can play it again at any time) it IS after all fun to play as a different ball of fat every now and then.

    Seriously, don't be fooled, at first you will find nothing extra to do, but it is all in the medals, collect medals = collect fun. and then off course if you beat the game there is a special extra feature added.

    It is too bad this game has no multiplayer, but it DOES have good ammount of content outside the main story mode,that is, after you beat the game.

    and even if it didn't have the extras, story mode alone is one great reason to get it.


    I give this game a:

    mah review survey
    by Published on January 1st, 2011 16:59
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    I'm in between reviews at the moment, so I'm taking a little review break with another review. It makes sense to me at least. (I can't find another game to review right now...this should be relieved by at least July 8.) Besides, I've been a Hellboy fan for a bit of time.

    Hellboy: The Science of Evil
    Publisher: Konami
    Developer: Chrome Studios
    Genre: Action
    Players: 1

    This game is currently being used as a coaster.

    In Hellboy: Science of Evil, you take the role of Hellboy, a demon operative of a secret underground group who hunt down all things supernatural. You play through 6 chapters following the villain Von Brampt to try and stop him from accomplishing his evil goals.

    There's nothing to write here.
    No witty comment. Not approving or disproving remark before this paragraph about this games story. The title just about explains it all. The "story" here, if you can even call it that, is the same thing as taking 15 different, totally unrelated ideas and shoving them together and using scotch tape to make them stay together. Alright, enough of that. The story in Hellboy: Science of Evil can hardly be called a story. Its composed of 6 broken and terribly composed chapters, almost all of which have an ending even before the climax. An example can be seen as far back as the first level. You find yourself as Hellboy in a distant cemetery in the-devs-only-know-where chasing down a witch who has stolen a great deal of precious artifacts, and killed all the people who tried and stop her. Now let me stop for a minute to explain something about the cut-scenes these messages are conveyed through. At first glance you may well see a stylish cut-scene, almost even a little bit reminiscent to the comic book. Now just wait until it starts moving. the poorly thrown together, no-voice acted cutscenes are the epitome of a bland and inexcusable attempt at piecing together a comic book style presentation. Characters look extremely different in style from one another, almost as though half of each cutscene was drawn by a different artist. The small feat they do manage to accomplish is get at least a little bit of the point of each scene across, but for the most part they simply cause more confusion. Now back to where we were, with the witch and the cemetery. The entire level basically changes course, and only follows Hellboy as though he's bent on escaping rather then catching the witch. And even after you complete the entire level, the last scene shows you overlooking a village and falling off a cliff, without so much as even a mini-boss fight. Wanna take a wild guess at level two? Probably not, since your most likely wrong. None your fault, though, as you somehow wind up in Japan, where you've apparently entirely forgotten anything about a witch and death and mayhem and blahblahblahblah. This games story is the most broken I've seen since Ghost Rider the game.

    Prepare to fight these guys, over and over and over and over...

    Hellboy has never looked worse
    The strangest thing about the fact that this game looks depressingly terrible is that the original movie actually got many awards for its great cinematography and costume design. The comic book has gotten many awards for great artistry. So you'd think, at least by a little, that the devs here would have at least put a bit more effort into the graphical component to this game. Well besides story, this is easily its worst part. And what better way to explain then by example. Textures disappearing: I walked past a door at one (or more) points in the game, only to find the door wide open when I couldn't access it. So I walk back three steps to go in only to find that the door never moved in the first place. So I ended up just having to leave the ghost door in place, without ever knowing if it was opened or closed. Clipping issues: When throwing or finishing off enemies, they have strange tendency to clip straight through the floor and fall under the level. Also, when thrown they also sometimes go straight through a solid wall. Fence posts and the such move back and forth straight through the ground as you go away and to them. Bland menus: The death screen isn't an extra screen at all. It simply brings up a menu no different then the main menu and asks me if I want to start checkpoint over. All menus look exactly the same. Back to normal style graphics section explanations. The HUD actually doesn't look all too terrible. the colorful bars of health and Rage bar offset an often boring and repetitive background. About backgrounds, each level does sport a different background, for a while at least. The problem with each is they tend to be bland and overall are extremely linear. They also share the exact same pale color pallet, which looks nice for a while, but loses its small charm before the first level is even over. The different ...

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