It didn't really have much of a choice in the matter, since squeezing three more game titles into the above headline would have resulted in an incomprehensible mess of letters, numbers and colons. Scheduled to arrive in the Wii's Shop Channel at 9AM PST, the following four games benefit from having largely self-explanatory names:

Adventure Island (NES, 1 player, 500 Wii Points): Grab a skateboard and venture onto an island... of adventure! Not to be confused with Ad Venture Island, the tropical billboard simulator.

Donkey Kong Jr. Math (NES, 1-2 players, 200+300=500 Wii Points): Place your child's education in the hands of a monkey! If I'm holding 17 bananas in my left hand and 23 bananas in my right hand, how big are my hands?

Landstalker: The Treasures of King Nole (Genesis, 1 player, 800 Wii Points): Don the pointy ears of an elvish treasure hunter (somehow named "Nigel") and seek out the king's shiny goods.

Bonk 3: Bonk's Big Adventure (TurboGrafx16, 1-2 players, 600 Wii Points): After two medium-sized adventures, Bonk embarks on his third and largest quest. Size clearly matters this time, since Nintendo's press release reminds us that "you can change your size to bonk your way through" all sorts of situations.

via joystiq