You already know that Ho-Ho's bringing a steaming pile of nothing to your favorite gaming retailer, but Nintendo's trying to make up for it with three new holiday releases on the Virtual Console. (And they're good, too!) Let's check it out.

Blades of Steel (NES, 1-2 players, 500 Wii Points): What, are you joking? It's Blades of Steel. Though maybe not the greatest hockey game ever made, it's at least the raddest. There are two team colors, there's fighting, what more could you need?

Rolling Thunder 2 (Genesis, 1-2 players, 800 Wii Points): Rolling Thunder 2 is sort of like a prettier N.A.R.C., except with a sexy lady cop. Except it has much better graphics and soundtrack. And there are no drugs. And no one explodes. OK, so it's nothing like N.A.R.C. besides the fact that they're both side-scrolling shooters. But at least it looks like a lot of fun.

Donkey Kong Country 3: Dixie Kong's Double Trouble (Super NES, 1-2 players, 800 Wii Points): "Hey Phil, we need to make another DKC game. What Kongs do we have left?"
"Well, there's Falco Kong, the Euro rocker with the heart of gold."
"I'm pretty sure you just made him up."
"OK ... how about Dixie and that creepy baby?"