VampDude
September 4th, 2009, 23:57
Via: RadNerd (http://www.radnerd.com/?p=1078)
I have a bone to pick here… a gear to grind… a… wait, why do all of these sound like sexual innuendos?
Here’s the overview of my situation. I love Xbox Live. Love it. I won’t even buy a game unless it has multiplayer (or it’s a single player colossus like Batman) because I am not only a competitive showboat, but I just like playing with other people and talking mad shit while I do. I love the community too. All the interactivity is great and having your own creatively constructed avatar to represent you within this digital universe is a fun little gimmick, because hey, who doesn’t like creating little mini icon versions of themselves? You do it on every site you’re on and every game has some sort of “customize your character” option these days. We as a nation are OBSESSED with the reproduction and self promotion of avatars on this damn accursed but ultimately addictingly lovely vacation spot known as the internet.
Here’s where the gripe comes in. I’m seriously torn because as a marketer and designer myself I know the value of exploitation of financial budgets within targeted demographics and the selling of services/goods to said demographic, but once in a while (all the time) I see shit that just makes me go bat shit insane with the loss of logic displayed, not by the producer, but by the consumer of the goods presented. I am of course talking about today’s number one controversial topic in the hearts and minds of all mankind… XBOX Live avatar accessories.
http://www.radnerd.com/wp-content/uploads/MonkeyIsland.JPG
Yes… That mother****er is buying A Q-TIP for 160 MS Points… why on earth would you do something like that? You know what this means right? If $20 gets you 1600 then that means 160 is equal to $2.00. TWO BUCKS!? Are you kidding me? For a goddamn ear swab that doesn’t do a ****in’ thing? Your avatar doesn’t even pull it out unless someone is intentionally staring at it on their friend dashboard menu for a solid 20 seconds or something! Are you kidding me? I could buy two double cheeseburgers at Mickey D’s for that price and that could support my life (unhealthy as it is) for a full day!!! WHY ON EARTH DO PEOPLE BUY THIS SHIT!? What takes me to the next level of pissed is the fact that these are the same people who won’t buy an amazing XBL Arcade game for 800 point’s ($10) because it’s too expensive! My mind. It explodes from the fathomless retardation.
Look at assholes face too. So excited that he just got ripped off. IT’S A Q-TIP! I can get a pack of 500 for 37 cents and you got 1 fake one that no one will ever see for $2 dollars. Saberdouche.
Oh wait! What’s this!!?? A special treat has been bestowed upon us!
http://www.radnerd.com/wp-content/uploads/DSC00716-noscale.jpg
Well aren’t we in luck! For a measley FOUR DOLLARS (AAAAARGH!!!!) You can watch your avatar play with a ****ing Warthog from the Halo series. Ok, ok, so let me get this straight… Someone out there was sitting at home, saw this on the XBOX marketplace and said “Ho-lee SHIAT! I MUST have this completely fake and useless remote controlled Halo buggy that none of my friends will ever see because it takes too long to actually show up on my avatar, but if they do see it they will think I’m slightly mentally deficiant for spending four dollars on something that does ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! *purchase*”
Really? People do this? I have friends that complain about not having enough money to order a ****ing soda with their meal but when we get on XBox Live I see that they bought this shit and it makes me want to explode with volcanic rage and rain little versions of myself down onto the world that would run around and punch people who purchased this in the throat. It would be kind of like Passover but instead of the Angel of Death Killing your first born child, I would just give you a severe “talking to” about your monumental form of idiocy and maybe slap your cat for just standing around and doing nothing to prevent this from happening.
Oh great…now what?
http://www.radnerd.com/wp-content/uploads/xblacogarmor2sm.jpg
Gears of War Locust armor? More like One-eyed, semi mongoloid Admiral Ackbar disguised as Gene Simmons suit. This makes baby Snow Leopards cry. Luckily their tears are made of honey which is used to feed the small island nation of Haiti. So I guess avatar accessories have a purpose after all. OK, BUT THATS ONLY ONE PURPOSE… AND ITS NOT EVEN REAL!
Let’s see what other video game franchise mascots they can butcher!
http://www.radnerd.com/wp-content/uploads/bioshock_avatar.jpg
http://www.radnerd.com/wp-content/uploads/guitarhero5avatar580.jpg
FYI: That’s supposed to be Big Daddy from Bioshock. Oh and see those shirts next to him? Those cost money too. Yeah, I know, a T-shirt for your cartoon self on Xbox cost money. That should be a promotional item or something to promote the game but instead they make you pay for it. The worst part is I’ve actually seen people buy these! People I know in real life have purchased the “Splinter Cell” shirts. What kind of people am I hanging out with? Apparently I’m the odd one for thinking this way though, because why would I NOT want a ” Guitar Hero 5″ shirt for 2 bucks, and the guitar for $4? Oh because six dollars to dress up an imaginary video game doll is ****ING STUPID!
http://www.radnerd.com/wp-content/uploads/avatar-bodymk.png
“Well my girl was Ada Wong and now she’s Ada Wong with a clone trooper helmet!” /Sigh. It costs actual real life money to look like that. Your republic credits are no good here.
http://www.radnerd.com/wp-content/uploads/504x_avnew1.jpg
Ah yes… the lightsaber. Not as clumsy or as random as a blaster but certainly much less practical. This one hurts my soul personally cause it’s expensive as balls and being the huge Star Wars enthusiast I am, it takes a lot out of me not to succumb to the dark side and buy this stupid tripe. I know they are just exploiting the Jedi in me but they made a crucial mistake in making your avatar look like a dyslexic wildebeest as it dance around with the saber in what could be easily mistaken as the “Star Wars Kid” out-takes.
http://www.radnerd.com/wp-content/uploads/avatar-bodyleo.png
My avatar. I’m sure you’re charmed. This shit is magical unadulterated majesty. All in all I don’t really care that people are spending money on this trivial poop and more power to the companies making money off it. I’m just saying that I think it’s absolutely bat-shit insane that people are dropping this kind of cash on nothing at all when you can look stylish and charming like me for absolutely free. Stop buying the overpriced shit and go buy two tacos at Jack-in-the-Box for 99 cents.
I have a bone to pick here… a gear to grind… a… wait, why do all of these sound like sexual innuendos?
Here’s the overview of my situation. I love Xbox Live. Love it. I won’t even buy a game unless it has multiplayer (or it’s a single player colossus like Batman) because I am not only a competitive showboat, but I just like playing with other people and talking mad shit while I do. I love the community too. All the interactivity is great and having your own creatively constructed avatar to represent you within this digital universe is a fun little gimmick, because hey, who doesn’t like creating little mini icon versions of themselves? You do it on every site you’re on and every game has some sort of “customize your character” option these days. We as a nation are OBSESSED with the reproduction and self promotion of avatars on this damn accursed but ultimately addictingly lovely vacation spot known as the internet.
Here’s where the gripe comes in. I’m seriously torn because as a marketer and designer myself I know the value of exploitation of financial budgets within targeted demographics and the selling of services/goods to said demographic, but once in a while (all the time) I see shit that just makes me go bat shit insane with the loss of logic displayed, not by the producer, but by the consumer of the goods presented. I am of course talking about today’s number one controversial topic in the hearts and minds of all mankind… XBOX Live avatar accessories.
http://www.radnerd.com/wp-content/uploads/MonkeyIsland.JPG
Yes… That mother****er is buying A Q-TIP for 160 MS Points… why on earth would you do something like that? You know what this means right? If $20 gets you 1600 then that means 160 is equal to $2.00. TWO BUCKS!? Are you kidding me? For a goddamn ear swab that doesn’t do a ****in’ thing? Your avatar doesn’t even pull it out unless someone is intentionally staring at it on their friend dashboard menu for a solid 20 seconds or something! Are you kidding me? I could buy two double cheeseburgers at Mickey D’s for that price and that could support my life (unhealthy as it is) for a full day!!! WHY ON EARTH DO PEOPLE BUY THIS SHIT!? What takes me to the next level of pissed is the fact that these are the same people who won’t buy an amazing XBL Arcade game for 800 point’s ($10) because it’s too expensive! My mind. It explodes from the fathomless retardation.
Look at assholes face too. So excited that he just got ripped off. IT’S A Q-TIP! I can get a pack of 500 for 37 cents and you got 1 fake one that no one will ever see for $2 dollars. Saberdouche.
Oh wait! What’s this!!?? A special treat has been bestowed upon us!
http://www.radnerd.com/wp-content/uploads/DSC00716-noscale.jpg
Well aren’t we in luck! For a measley FOUR DOLLARS (AAAAARGH!!!!) You can watch your avatar play with a ****ing Warthog from the Halo series. Ok, ok, so let me get this straight… Someone out there was sitting at home, saw this on the XBOX marketplace and said “Ho-lee SHIAT! I MUST have this completely fake and useless remote controlled Halo buggy that none of my friends will ever see because it takes too long to actually show up on my avatar, but if they do see it they will think I’m slightly mentally deficiant for spending four dollars on something that does ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! *purchase*”
Really? People do this? I have friends that complain about not having enough money to order a ****ing soda with their meal but when we get on XBox Live I see that they bought this shit and it makes me want to explode with volcanic rage and rain little versions of myself down onto the world that would run around and punch people who purchased this in the throat. It would be kind of like Passover but instead of the Angel of Death Killing your first born child, I would just give you a severe “talking to” about your monumental form of idiocy and maybe slap your cat for just standing around and doing nothing to prevent this from happening.
Oh great…now what?
http://www.radnerd.com/wp-content/uploads/xblacogarmor2sm.jpg
Gears of War Locust armor? More like One-eyed, semi mongoloid Admiral Ackbar disguised as Gene Simmons suit. This makes baby Snow Leopards cry. Luckily their tears are made of honey which is used to feed the small island nation of Haiti. So I guess avatar accessories have a purpose after all. OK, BUT THATS ONLY ONE PURPOSE… AND ITS NOT EVEN REAL!
Let’s see what other video game franchise mascots they can butcher!
http://www.radnerd.com/wp-content/uploads/bioshock_avatar.jpg
http://www.radnerd.com/wp-content/uploads/guitarhero5avatar580.jpg
FYI: That’s supposed to be Big Daddy from Bioshock. Oh and see those shirts next to him? Those cost money too. Yeah, I know, a T-shirt for your cartoon self on Xbox cost money. That should be a promotional item or something to promote the game but instead they make you pay for it. The worst part is I’ve actually seen people buy these! People I know in real life have purchased the “Splinter Cell” shirts. What kind of people am I hanging out with? Apparently I’m the odd one for thinking this way though, because why would I NOT want a ” Guitar Hero 5″ shirt for 2 bucks, and the guitar for $4? Oh because six dollars to dress up an imaginary video game doll is ****ING STUPID!
http://www.radnerd.com/wp-content/uploads/avatar-bodymk.png
“Well my girl was Ada Wong and now she’s Ada Wong with a clone trooper helmet!” /Sigh. It costs actual real life money to look like that. Your republic credits are no good here.
http://www.radnerd.com/wp-content/uploads/504x_avnew1.jpg
Ah yes… the lightsaber. Not as clumsy or as random as a blaster but certainly much less practical. This one hurts my soul personally cause it’s expensive as balls and being the huge Star Wars enthusiast I am, it takes a lot out of me not to succumb to the dark side and buy this stupid tripe. I know they are just exploiting the Jedi in me but they made a crucial mistake in making your avatar look like a dyslexic wildebeest as it dance around with the saber in what could be easily mistaken as the “Star Wars Kid” out-takes.
http://www.radnerd.com/wp-content/uploads/avatar-bodyleo.png
My avatar. I’m sure you’re charmed. This shit is magical unadulterated majesty. All in all I don’t really care that people are spending money on this trivial poop and more power to the companies making money off it. I’m just saying that I think it’s absolutely bat-shit insane that people are dropping this kind of cash on nothing at all when you can look stylish and charming like me for absolutely free. Stop buying the overpriced shit and go buy two tacos at Jack-in-the-Box for 99 cents.