The Apple Lawsuit Rampage We'd Love to See [Humor]

[retroremakes]

Apple's lawsuit against HTC (http://gizmodo.com/5483632/apple-sues-htc-for-infringing-on-20-iphone-patents-the-complete-documents) made one thing clear: Steve. Jobs. Will. Cut You. And with all the patents they've got? Nobody's safe. Here's who's next on the subpoena warpath:
http://cache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/4/2010/03/500x_dippindotz.jpg (http://cache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/4/2010/03/dippindotz.jpg)Patent #8 (http://gizmodo.com/tag/8/),567,301: A Process to Cryogenically Microbead Pasteurized Dairy
Defendant: Dippin' Dots
http://cache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/4/2010/03/500x_norse.jpg (http://cache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/4/2010/03/norse.jpg)Patent #5 (http://gizmodo.com/tag/5/),475,939: Inexpensive Self-Assembled Home Furnishings With Names That Sound Like Lesser Norse Gods
Defendant: Ikea
http://cache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/4/2010/03/500x_burj.jpg (http://cache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/4/2010/03/burj.jpg)Patent #6 (http://gizmodo.com/tag/6/),374,752: Constructing an Opulent Hyper-Futuristic City Without Having the Resources to Maintain It
Defendant: Dubai
http://cache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/4/2010/03/500x_chords.jpg (http://cache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/4/2010/03/chords.jpg)Patent #3 (http://gizmodo.com/tag/3/),405,356: Music Composition Utilizing Three Chords In Sequence and Repetitive Anti-Establishment Lyrics
Defendants: Joey Ramone; Iggy Pop; Johnny Rotten; et al
http://cache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/4/2010/03/500x_bill.jpg (http://cache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/4/2010/03/bill.jpg)Patent #2 (http://gizmodo.com/tag/2/),366,291: How a Bill Becomes a Law
Defendants: Congressional and Executive Branches of US Government; "School House Rock"
http://cache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/4/2010/03/500x_ceiling.jpg (http://cache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/4/2010/03/ceiling.jpg)Patent #4 (http://gizmodo.com/tag/4/),769,002: Placing "I" Before "E" (Excepting Those Occasions In Which Preceded By "C" Or When Phonetically Comparable to "A")
Defendants: Strunk and White; My Third Grade Homeroom Teacher; the English Language
http://cache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/4/2010/03/500x_spencheidi.jpg (http://cache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/4/2010/03/spencheidi.jpg)Patent #9 (http://gizmodo.com/tag/9/),753,482: Achieving Fame Despite Lack of Discernable Talent or Drive
Defendants: Paris Hilton, Spencer Pratt, the Cast of "Tool Academy," et al
http://cache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/4/2010/03/500x_dogs.jpg (http://cache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/4/2010/03/dogs.jpg)Patent #1 (http://gizmodo.com/tag/1/),749,682: Dogs
Defendants: Dogs


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