PDA

View Full Version : Smothered in sunday. (a poem by me)


bullhead
February 6th, 2007, 00:27
He grabs me by the scarf and tells me what to fear, what to wear.
He shakes me like a dying leaf and tells me how to comb my hair.

The choir wails and I look home; This is not where we belong,
this woeful cave of dying hope

I pack my legs and thaw my soul,
In the sun beam of my journey home.

by bullhead.

How did you find it?
bullhead
February 6th, 2007, 17:38
Should I attempt another one? It only occurred to me to do this now.

Opinions please?

bull, x.
Accordion
February 6th, 2007, 17:58
last two lines are good

[you just reminded me of something...check JUNK later for some of my poems from 1997..10 whole years ago!!!]
S34MU5
February 6th, 2007, 23:05
Stuff in Junk gets deleted after being unactive for like 5 days. So i doubt 10 years ago...
JKKDARK
February 6th, 2007, 23:52
Stuff in Junk gets deleted after being unactive for like 5 days. So i doubt 10 years ago...

No, he wrote poems in 1997 and posted it recently.
Accordion
February 7th, 2007, 00:56
well i seem to have lost them again, but ill try and post tomorrow...but JK is correct.

wow i was only 8 years old...scary
S34MU5
February 7th, 2007, 01:43
wooooooooo i was 6

and JKK was still a man/little boy
dejkirkby
February 7th, 2007, 09:00
Did you pen this BH?
It kinda says to me that you can sometimes be insecure but also don't want to be controlled or labelled.
I enjoyed it. Good work.
Accordion
February 7th, 2007, 10:42
yay! back on topic !
always continue bull, always!
bullhead
February 7th, 2007, 17:51
Did you pen this BH?
It kinda says to me that you can sometimes be insecure but also don't want to be controlled or labelled.
I enjoyed it. Good work.

That would be a decent enough description of me... insightful of you I do say!

I wrote it myself, yeah. I made another one today. I will just post it here when I get to a computer(on psp)

I might just use this thread more often for this. Thanks for the feedback everyone!

bullhead.
bullhead
February 7th, 2007, 22:01
Smile skyward with a spring in your drunken bounce
Aberrant convulsions scar the dancing circle
Meander through a sea of soaking cheekbones
Glance for signs of ponderous stares
They're everywhere.

Like eggs on pins, they swivel round and round,
Smiles collide with eyes of chilling night
Caress of cold indifference
Copulation dissolves our one true plight.

A mouth of smoke and bitter carnage hidden in this wreched rose
She smiles at fog behind my head and thinks that I don't know. (the moron)
Years creeping by and slowly devouring untapped hope,
Before she knows, it will be gone,
and isle be dancing free of woe.
A middle aged boy screams, "I told you so!"

bullhead.

Any opinions on this one?