Johnny Rash
November 27th, 2007, 04:08
Here is a short story I wrote in High School.
It took 45 mintutes in my Creative Writing class and I actually turned it in.
Leave your reviews below if you actually finish the story.
THE THREE LITTLE HOOKERS AND THE BIG BAD PIMP
Once upon a time…
…There were three women who worked on 23rd street. Seeing as I claimed they worked on the street, there is almost no other profession you can do besides prostitution. The three were “business partners” who shared the wealth and being successful in the prostitution business for some time now. Their job was a somewhat easy feat. It isn’t hard to get money or services from a man with the simple exchange of the company of a woman. The male mind is rather simple. The three women worked in secret but almost like a corporation.
Sara, was the eldest at 28. Tall and beautiful, she brought in a lot of “customers”. Her face emitted a magical essence of warmth that filled the eyes of paying men. But she was indeed very dull, boring, and somewhat of a slow thinker. Sara had trouble counting her money so she sought the help of her friends to help her with the simple counting. However, money seemed to vanish once in awhile during the counting process.
Jennifer, was the strongest. Often mistaken for a male, she was great for those “customers” with those weird manly fetishes. Also, her appearance discouraged men from skipping payment. Her strength was unmatched, for she could beat the cash out of the poorest of men. She also attended to the violent off-season rapists. Someone has to do the dirt work.
Lorelei, was the smartest. She often tricked Sara into doing the dirty work without much pay. She was sly and creative when it came to prostitution. Often thinking of plans to get more money without the extra work. She handled all the money and budgeted it well. That way they had money for the kind of things hookers need. Like…skimpy clothing or cheap perfume.
On a not-so-busy night, the girls wait for some paying customers. The night passed and the men left and the girls sit alone on 23rd.
“I got one man tonight!” said Sara “where ‘dey goin‘?”
The girls sighed with bored. Just then,
“I want more money!” yelled Lorelei.
Just then there was a brilliant flash and a loud ear ringing bang!
As the flash faded, the girls noticed the car in front of them. It was a levitating purple Cadillac. And from this levitating vehicle emerged a man. He was a black man in a velvet felt jacket. He wore a matching hat with a leopard band and a feather. He held a large, shining cane in his left hand. His right hand was adorned with gold, silver, and diamond rings. The large sunglasses on wore did not match the skinny, frail frame of his face.
The man stood and glimpsed at the three hookers and adjusted his glasses. He then said to them,
“Hello ladies of the night, I can help you make much mo’ moneys!”
The three girls eyes gleamed with curiosity and Lorelei said
“Who…are you?”
The man began,
“I am yo’ Fairy Pimp Daddy” he said “And I just done hear…somebody wanna’ make some mo’ moneys!”
The girls stepped forward. They all wanted more money and they would now have a pimp. They accepted his offer, after some strenuous business propositions of course, and agreed to work for him.
“Jus’ call me Pimp Daddy Jablowme!”
For several weeks the girls worked for him. Commerce was much better since word about them was spread by Jablowme. They received their just rewards but they rarely saw they magical pimp. And so, they continued their work while freely spending their money. But, one day while they sat in the alley on a little vacation, there was a loud bang and a blinding flash. And there stood before them, Pimp Daddy Jablowme.
“Ok bitches, were ‘dat money at?” he said with a demanding tone.
The three girls were confused and remained unvoiced. Then all eyes aimed at Lorelei.
“What? Is there something on my face?” she asked.
“There betta’ be something’ on yo’ face! That’s how I be makin’ my money!”
Sara stepped in an said,
“We ain’t payin’ you for anything.”
And without a word the pimp rose his ring adorned hand and swiped it across Sara’s face.
“Where da’ money at!?” the pimp yelled. And Lorelei yelled back
“What are you talking about? Leave! Get the hell outta’ here you piece of shit!”
As the pimp rose his hand again, Jennifer tackled him and punched him in the face. He was hurt and grasping his face, and he said,
“I will be back! And I will get my money!”
And with another blinding flash…Pimp Jablowme had vanished.
The girls had escaped prostitution and found refuge in the desert. They split their remaining money evenly and went their separate ways. They began to build themselves homes in the desert. The remaining money was little but enough to survive for a couple years. And so they continued construction on their homes that would protect them from the pimp that one day might return.
Sara, who had failed geometry in high school, forgot about angles and ended up building her home of branches. What she had created was nothing but a mere pile of dead wood with a shoddy door. It was a piece of crap house that would yield no protection but she was proud!
Jennifer, with her sheer strength, built a home of reinforced steel plates and rods. Having built this fort, she felt protected. There was no flaw to be seen. Walls of steel, concrete furniture, electrified barbed wire fences…there was nothing that could penetrate this home.
Lorelei could not be found. The Sara and Jennifer came to the conclusion that Pimp Jablowme was back for his dough. They readied themselves and waited with fear.
“What do ya’ think he gonna’ do? Trick us?” asked Sara.
“Nah, I think he is just going to slap us to death with his biblical pimp hand. I can take him with my massive powerful arms!” said Jennifer.
And as soon as that was said, there was a fell wind. The skies churned and turned a dark purple. It was “him”, a voice was heard across the desert.
“It’s time to get my moneys, bitch!” and there was a booming laugh.
The first to be visited was Sara. She was unaware that he was around. Peering outside her house she noticed a dollar pinned to a purple cactus. Being a dimwitted as her, she ventured toward the cactus, arms extended.
“Ooh, dollar!” she murmured as got closer.
She then carefully took the dollar off the cactus admired it since she can now buy a Cheesy Bean and Rice Burrito from Taco Bell!
Now, it is quite obvious that the purple cactus is Pimp Jablowme. But even with her within range, he did not slap her with his biblical pimp hand. He gave her a dollar, making him a paying customer. And he saw her admiring face focused on the dollar. He was amazed and felt warmth and security. Her glistening eyes, her beautiful face and figure. And it is when the purple cactus grew a new arm when Sara realized what was going on!
Sara was a surprisingly fast runner, or maybe the fact that the pimp was a cactus, but she had escaped to Jennifer’s home. They pondered about what his next approach would be and it seemed quite obvious that what he was going to do next was to trick the both of them. But he had in fact planned what is next.
Far is the horizon Jennifer and Sara can see the pimp’s figure. He was approaching the house…casually. And he yelled,
“Look here, bitches! I want my damn moneys back and that damn dolla’! And you’s gonna’ give me all ‘dat money, RIGHT NOW!”
The girls giggled as he walked into the electric fence.
“Ahhhhhhhh! SHIT! You bitches dead! I’m-a gonna’ kill ya’!” he roared at them through the small plexi-glass window. He ventured to the back of the house and glared at the steel wall. And then his face morphed into a smile. He said,
“Ya’ know, ‘dey can make a tile dat’ can withstand two thousand degrees. But ya’ know… ‘dey ain’t neva’ made no Ford El Dorado where da’ ****in’ bumpa’ don’t fall off!”
And just then he tapped the steel wall with his mighty pimp cane. At first, nothing. But in the following seconds that wall had collapsed, revealing two shocked woman…eyes wide open. And an anonymous voice yelled,
“RUN!”
The girls had began running, leaving the laughing pimp behind them. They traveled for several days in search for refuge. Soon, thirst and hunger were their goals. It was approaching sunset.
“You…you still have that dollar, Sara?” asked Jennifer, exhausted.
“Yeah…’ders no use for it anyways.” Sara replied.
They walked a few steps further and Sara’s eyes shot open. And her finger rose to a point.
“Look! Over ‘der!” she said with excitement.
In the direction of Sara’s finger was a structure with a human figure moving near it.
“Lets go! Maybe they have water and food!” said Jennifer.
After some running, after the figure came into focus. Jennifer and Sara stood motionless. Standing before them, after months, was Lorelei!
Lorelei spoke.
“I thought you two might find me soon enough.” she said “I’ve made us a home. I used the money I stole from you all these years.”
Behind her stood a structure, built completely of rubber bands, paperclips, and condoms.
“You stole my money…for this!” Sara asked angrily. “’Dis…is nothing! He gonna’ get us! We dead!”
Just then there was a bang far off in the field and a voice said,
“’dats right!”
“Get in the house!” yelled Lorelei.
The girls made it into the house of rubber safely. And they watched outside to see what the pimp had planned. For what seemed like eternity, there was silence. And finally the pimp began,
“Here we be. Waitin’ fo’ nothing’.“ he said, and a smile grew on his face, “But I am gonna’ get my moneys!”
He stepped for and lifted his pimp cane…and with a evil glare he swung the cane at the wall. But, the cane did none but bounce off the plane of latex.
“God damn you Trojan!” the pimp yelled.
Lorelei ran outside as he cursed toward the sky and sprayed him in the face with some mace. After the allergen reached his eyes, Pimp Jablowme fell to the ground in tears of pain. It seems no matter how godly, even the worst sexual offenders are stopped with some mace in the face.
On his knees, he looked up at the three women. The three of them spoke as one,
“Where da’ money at!”
And after those words were said, all three backhanded him in the face. He then twitched and paused. The quill from his hat was knocked off and slowly drifted towards the ground. And when that quill hit the ground, the black pimp name Jablowme shattered into countless pieces.
What are left on the ground was a hat and his wallet. Lorelei picked up his wallet peered inside and laughed.
“Hehheh, his first name was Heywood!”
The three hookers laughed together and lived happily ever after…
--- THE END ---
Awesome, eh?
Better get writing my review.
It took 45 mintutes in my Creative Writing class and I actually turned it in.
Leave your reviews below if you actually finish the story.
THE THREE LITTLE HOOKERS AND THE BIG BAD PIMP
Once upon a time…
…There were three women who worked on 23rd street. Seeing as I claimed they worked on the street, there is almost no other profession you can do besides prostitution. The three were “business partners” who shared the wealth and being successful in the prostitution business for some time now. Their job was a somewhat easy feat. It isn’t hard to get money or services from a man with the simple exchange of the company of a woman. The male mind is rather simple. The three women worked in secret but almost like a corporation.
Sara, was the eldest at 28. Tall and beautiful, she brought in a lot of “customers”. Her face emitted a magical essence of warmth that filled the eyes of paying men. But she was indeed very dull, boring, and somewhat of a slow thinker. Sara had trouble counting her money so she sought the help of her friends to help her with the simple counting. However, money seemed to vanish once in awhile during the counting process.
Jennifer, was the strongest. Often mistaken for a male, she was great for those “customers” with those weird manly fetishes. Also, her appearance discouraged men from skipping payment. Her strength was unmatched, for she could beat the cash out of the poorest of men. She also attended to the violent off-season rapists. Someone has to do the dirt work.
Lorelei, was the smartest. She often tricked Sara into doing the dirty work without much pay. She was sly and creative when it came to prostitution. Often thinking of plans to get more money without the extra work. She handled all the money and budgeted it well. That way they had money for the kind of things hookers need. Like…skimpy clothing or cheap perfume.
On a not-so-busy night, the girls wait for some paying customers. The night passed and the men left and the girls sit alone on 23rd.
“I got one man tonight!” said Sara “where ‘dey goin‘?”
The girls sighed with bored. Just then,
“I want more money!” yelled Lorelei.
Just then there was a brilliant flash and a loud ear ringing bang!
As the flash faded, the girls noticed the car in front of them. It was a levitating purple Cadillac. And from this levitating vehicle emerged a man. He was a black man in a velvet felt jacket. He wore a matching hat with a leopard band and a feather. He held a large, shining cane in his left hand. His right hand was adorned with gold, silver, and diamond rings. The large sunglasses on wore did not match the skinny, frail frame of his face.
The man stood and glimpsed at the three hookers and adjusted his glasses. He then said to them,
“Hello ladies of the night, I can help you make much mo’ moneys!”
The three girls eyes gleamed with curiosity and Lorelei said
“Who…are you?”
The man began,
“I am yo’ Fairy Pimp Daddy” he said “And I just done hear…somebody wanna’ make some mo’ moneys!”
The girls stepped forward. They all wanted more money and they would now have a pimp. They accepted his offer, after some strenuous business propositions of course, and agreed to work for him.
“Jus’ call me Pimp Daddy Jablowme!”
For several weeks the girls worked for him. Commerce was much better since word about them was spread by Jablowme. They received their just rewards but they rarely saw they magical pimp. And so, they continued their work while freely spending their money. But, one day while they sat in the alley on a little vacation, there was a loud bang and a blinding flash. And there stood before them, Pimp Daddy Jablowme.
“Ok bitches, were ‘dat money at?” he said with a demanding tone.
The three girls were confused and remained unvoiced. Then all eyes aimed at Lorelei.
“What? Is there something on my face?” she asked.
“There betta’ be something’ on yo’ face! That’s how I be makin’ my money!”
Sara stepped in an said,
“We ain’t payin’ you for anything.”
And without a word the pimp rose his ring adorned hand and swiped it across Sara’s face.
“Where da’ money at!?” the pimp yelled. And Lorelei yelled back
“What are you talking about? Leave! Get the hell outta’ here you piece of shit!”
As the pimp rose his hand again, Jennifer tackled him and punched him in the face. He was hurt and grasping his face, and he said,
“I will be back! And I will get my money!”
And with another blinding flash…Pimp Jablowme had vanished.
The girls had escaped prostitution and found refuge in the desert. They split their remaining money evenly and went their separate ways. They began to build themselves homes in the desert. The remaining money was little but enough to survive for a couple years. And so they continued construction on their homes that would protect them from the pimp that one day might return.
Sara, who had failed geometry in high school, forgot about angles and ended up building her home of branches. What she had created was nothing but a mere pile of dead wood with a shoddy door. It was a piece of crap house that would yield no protection but she was proud!
Jennifer, with her sheer strength, built a home of reinforced steel plates and rods. Having built this fort, she felt protected. There was no flaw to be seen. Walls of steel, concrete furniture, electrified barbed wire fences…there was nothing that could penetrate this home.
Lorelei could not be found. The Sara and Jennifer came to the conclusion that Pimp Jablowme was back for his dough. They readied themselves and waited with fear.
“What do ya’ think he gonna’ do? Trick us?” asked Sara.
“Nah, I think he is just going to slap us to death with his biblical pimp hand. I can take him with my massive powerful arms!” said Jennifer.
And as soon as that was said, there was a fell wind. The skies churned and turned a dark purple. It was “him”, a voice was heard across the desert.
“It’s time to get my moneys, bitch!” and there was a booming laugh.
The first to be visited was Sara. She was unaware that he was around. Peering outside her house she noticed a dollar pinned to a purple cactus. Being a dimwitted as her, she ventured toward the cactus, arms extended.
“Ooh, dollar!” she murmured as got closer.
She then carefully took the dollar off the cactus admired it since she can now buy a Cheesy Bean and Rice Burrito from Taco Bell!
Now, it is quite obvious that the purple cactus is Pimp Jablowme. But even with her within range, he did not slap her with his biblical pimp hand. He gave her a dollar, making him a paying customer. And he saw her admiring face focused on the dollar. He was amazed and felt warmth and security. Her glistening eyes, her beautiful face and figure. And it is when the purple cactus grew a new arm when Sara realized what was going on!
Sara was a surprisingly fast runner, or maybe the fact that the pimp was a cactus, but she had escaped to Jennifer’s home. They pondered about what his next approach would be and it seemed quite obvious that what he was going to do next was to trick the both of them. But he had in fact planned what is next.
Far is the horizon Jennifer and Sara can see the pimp’s figure. He was approaching the house…casually. And he yelled,
“Look here, bitches! I want my damn moneys back and that damn dolla’! And you’s gonna’ give me all ‘dat money, RIGHT NOW!”
The girls giggled as he walked into the electric fence.
“Ahhhhhhhh! SHIT! You bitches dead! I’m-a gonna’ kill ya’!” he roared at them through the small plexi-glass window. He ventured to the back of the house and glared at the steel wall. And then his face morphed into a smile. He said,
“Ya’ know, ‘dey can make a tile dat’ can withstand two thousand degrees. But ya’ know… ‘dey ain’t neva’ made no Ford El Dorado where da’ ****in’ bumpa’ don’t fall off!”
And just then he tapped the steel wall with his mighty pimp cane. At first, nothing. But in the following seconds that wall had collapsed, revealing two shocked woman…eyes wide open. And an anonymous voice yelled,
“RUN!”
The girls had began running, leaving the laughing pimp behind them. They traveled for several days in search for refuge. Soon, thirst and hunger were their goals. It was approaching sunset.
“You…you still have that dollar, Sara?” asked Jennifer, exhausted.
“Yeah…’ders no use for it anyways.” Sara replied.
They walked a few steps further and Sara’s eyes shot open. And her finger rose to a point.
“Look! Over ‘der!” she said with excitement.
In the direction of Sara’s finger was a structure with a human figure moving near it.
“Lets go! Maybe they have water and food!” said Jennifer.
After some running, after the figure came into focus. Jennifer and Sara stood motionless. Standing before them, after months, was Lorelei!
Lorelei spoke.
“I thought you two might find me soon enough.” she said “I’ve made us a home. I used the money I stole from you all these years.”
Behind her stood a structure, built completely of rubber bands, paperclips, and condoms.
“You stole my money…for this!” Sara asked angrily. “’Dis…is nothing! He gonna’ get us! We dead!”
Just then there was a bang far off in the field and a voice said,
“’dats right!”
“Get in the house!” yelled Lorelei.
The girls made it into the house of rubber safely. And they watched outside to see what the pimp had planned. For what seemed like eternity, there was silence. And finally the pimp began,
“Here we be. Waitin’ fo’ nothing’.“ he said, and a smile grew on his face, “But I am gonna’ get my moneys!”
He stepped for and lifted his pimp cane…and with a evil glare he swung the cane at the wall. But, the cane did none but bounce off the plane of latex.
“God damn you Trojan!” the pimp yelled.
Lorelei ran outside as he cursed toward the sky and sprayed him in the face with some mace. After the allergen reached his eyes, Pimp Jablowme fell to the ground in tears of pain. It seems no matter how godly, even the worst sexual offenders are stopped with some mace in the face.
On his knees, he looked up at the three women. The three of them spoke as one,
“Where da’ money at!”
And after those words were said, all three backhanded him in the face. He then twitched and paused. The quill from his hat was knocked off and slowly drifted towards the ground. And when that quill hit the ground, the black pimp name Jablowme shattered into countless pieces.
What are left on the ground was a hat and his wallet. Lorelei picked up his wallet peered inside and laughed.
“Hehheh, his first name was Heywood!”
The three hookers laughed together and lived happily ever after…
--- THE END ---
Awesome, eh?
Better get writing my review.