30-year-olds: 'drop the pad and grow up'

[Shrygue]

via Computer and Video Games (http://www.computerandvideogames.com/article.php?id=180936)


Men in their mid 20s and 30s need to put down the Xbox controller and grow up, says writer Kay Hymowitz in an opinion piece published in the Dallas Morning News.

Thanks to the emergence of pop culture such as television and gaming today's mid-20-something male "lingers happily, in a new hybrid state of semi-hormonal adolescence and responsible self-reliance," argues the article.

In fact compared to the last generation of young men today's 20 to 30-year-old blokes can't be considered adults, she says. "Adolescence appears to be the young man's default state," a phase which the writer with the funny name has chosen to call "child-man", encouraged, she says, by gaming.

As a 21st Century, 26-year-old bloke, reads the article, "you live in an apartment with a few single guy friends. In your spare time, you play basketball with your buddies, download the latest indie songs from iTunes, have some fun with the Xbox 360, take a leisurely shower, massage some product into your hair and face - and then it's off to bars and parties, where you meet, and often bed, girls of widely varied hues and sizes." So far, so good then.

Does this typical modern young man have a wife, kids or house though, she asks: "Are you kidding?"

Back in the 60s, says the opinion piece, the average man in his 20s had achieved most of life's milestones such as a good job, marriage, a house and even a few kids in the bank.

These days, argues the Dallas Morning News piece, the vast majority of 25 year old men have neither a house, wife nor children, says Hymowitz, which is definitely nothing to do with the invention of either the pill or Ayia Napa.


"With women, you could argue that adulthood is in fact emergent," Hymowitz writes. "Single young males, or SYMs, by contrast, often seem to hang out in a playground of drinking, hooking up, playing Halo 3 and, in many cases, underachieving. With them, adulthood looks as though it's receding."

"Underachieving"? We've got over 10 thousand achievement points, lady. The clue's in the title.

We're now living in a culture different from the one of 40 years ago, when you'd marry at school, get a factory job and live in the old family home? Education fees and houses aren't cheap in 2008...

Today's generation has far more time to develop a career, build a home and find a partner than before. When you consider that we're the first generation to grow up with control pads, it's obvious why it's become a target in this debate.

We bet their parents said the same thing about how 25-year-olds play too much sport on a Sunday instead of bringing up the kids...


"The problem with child-men," the article continues, "is that they're not very promising husbands and fathers. They suffer from a proverbial 'fear of commitment'".

What about the demographic of men who have a job, house and kids and still play games, then? Perhaps this writer should realise that some blokes are adult enough to decide what their hobby is. Sound off below!

[troom]

ha I got married at 17 and ive been married for fifteen years have a very good job two kids own my house flat out my wifes a horse vet and i still play games when the kids are at school our if im at home by my self so this lady is talking out ass. i know this all ran together dont care.

[mike_jmg]

Hell yeah, I can have a nice job, a nice girlfriend and still play games, so what?

[JKKDARK]

This Kay Hymowitz should get cancer, the life is about having a good time.

[Pinuyasha]

Her husband/boyfriend probably spends more time playing Halo 3 than he does spending time with her.

[matt2k]

What BS. I'm 29, married for 7 years, a pharmacy manager, and I get my kicks off of Gears of war, Burnout, and other great games. Been playing them since the old Atari 2600 and Tandy computers, and I don't see any signs of slowing down. The misses loves playing RPGs....and Patapon. :)

[callsignAPOLLO]

I agree Matt, that's BS, guys have been infamous for holding hobbies while being married for years. Instead of model cars it's burnout, men need something to wind-down and keep from drive'in their wives crazy.

http://i15.tinypic.com/6prymtx.jpg

[Rolling_Go]

I'd be willing to bet she was dumped for dat Madden.

[jdnation]

Well it is true that there is a major trend that younger people nowadays are reaching that stage of adulthood much later, but it's not necessarily a bad thing... there's just far more educational opportunities and stuff available, so it's normal... it has nothing to do with games... games are just a new hobby for older people who grew up with them.

[M Dash]

Some people nowadays simply grab ANYTHING to try to get some profit.
Of course... Some people are plain STU*ID and grab the most idiot things that come to they minds...

[Mr_Squirt]

My dads in his mid 40's and he owns a pc, xbox 360 and a nintendo wii and plays them all when he gets the chance. There is nothing wrong with having a hobby playing games so long as you don't priortise a game of Call of Duty 4 over going to pick up your kids from school.

[Failedartifact]

Better than spending 30 minutes dressing and 30 minutes putting make-up.. pfft

[mistac]

...and then it's off to bars and parties, where you meet, and often bed, girls of widely varied hues and sizes."

This one line speaks volumes. If all the immature guys are bedding girls of varied hues and sizes then what does this make the girls? More importantly if that's what the girls are like who's gonna commit to that?... you know the saying, why buy the cow when you can drink the milk for free?

[dejkirkby]

I suppose this woman would prefer men to find something more productive to do with their time. Maybe deal drugs, bone hookers, cause fights, rob people.
Here's a better idea, keep your nose out of our shit and get a real job, you piss-poor, think tank, propaganda spreading nobody.

[Uruz 6]

This one line speaks volumes. If all the immature guys are bedding girls of varied hues and sizes then what does this make the girls? More importantly if that's what the girls are like who's gonna commit to that?... you know the saying, why buy the cow when you can drink the milk for free?

:rofl:
Life today is different too - I'm 22 and studying (Economics in some unknown univesity :cool:) and will continue to do so for at least 2 years before I can get some high-level degree... how the F**K does she expects me to find a job now??? (nevermind a partner for the rest of my life!).
This article is BS

[Bestwick]

What an absolute bitch. We play games/sport in the hopes that it'll drown out your constant complaining.

Good job trying to enforce the stereotype that woman are attention seeking commit-aholics.

Clearly some casual gamer hurt this chick real bad and now, like the media, is blaming something she does not understand.

[hodgy47]

She obviously lost when playing MOH Heroes online. I am 34 Have a great girlfriend for 11 years, own my home have a decent car,Good job and 4 great kids, My kids think its cool cos i play games (ad hoc with the kids most of the time) and brag cos their dad messes with the psp, and most of their friends have had me put custom firmware on their psp's, This lady needs to curl up into a small ball and die, harsh i know but she is wrong totally.

[robman84]

What sensationalist bollocks. Ok, so I'm slightly beyond this derided demographic as I'm heading towards 40, but to tar everyone who plays games with such a negative stereotype, and then to publish such tripe is lazy journalism.

Hawayyy the lads and long live games. I'll play until I die.

[ExcruciationX]

This age thing could be attributed to life expectancy getting longer. You don't (and shouldn't) do everything that fast. I can't say I have a girlfriend (don't want one), but I do have a life outside "video games".

BTW, who is this idiot?

[Veskgar]

Well, alls I can say is that I'm a child-man and proud of it! Look, we live in different times. Its a very different world. If a lot of the technology available today was available 40 years ago, guys would be using it as we use it today. It may sound chauvinistic, but a lot of women like this so-called journalist need to be more accommodating and understanding. It seems to be another cheap shot at making video games the scapegoat for more underlying problems.


Her husband/boyfriend probably spends more time playing Halo 3 than he does spending time with her.
That is exactly what came to mind when I read this also. This sounds like one miserable woman.



Good job trying to enforce the stereotype that woman are attention seeking commit-aholics.
Yep. In trying to put down men of this age, she really doesn't do much good at portraying women any better.


This age thing could be attributed to life expectancy getting longer.
Well, actually, in the USA, for the first time in a while the life expectancy is dropping. This is mostly due to the pathetic F.D.A. and the junk that is allowed in foods that kills you slowly. Lack of exercise is a factor too which could be vaguely attributed to playing video games. So with poor eating and a sedentary life, its no wonder heart disease is the leading cause of death. This is also a lot of people's own fault.

[mistac]

:rofl:
Life today is different too - I'm 22 and studying (Economics in some unknown univesity :cool:) and will continue to do so for at least 2 years before I can get some high-level degree... how the F**K does she expects me to find a job now??? (nevermind a partner for the rest of my life!).
This article is BS

She's obviously got a bee in her bonnet about something. I have noticed a lot of women are all about work lately, it reminds me of Orwell's 1984.

At the end of the day you're doing something to better yourself and you should be proud of that. These do-gooders need to keep their noses out of other people's business.

I have to admit, I'd love nothing more than to tell my boss to shove his job and spend some quality time with the Mrs & the kids on the Wii.

[paco1984]

huh? so this journalist thinks all guys who play games are beneath her idea of what a "real man" should be? i have a kid and me and my ol-lady live together happy. i play games and she doesnt realy. but im 24 and this broad dont know squat about what shes saying.

[Mister Klownes]

Seems a little obvious this chick's suffering from some feminazi issues...also, "proverbial" fear of committment? Since when does that have anything to do with gaming? and since when is it a proverb?

[abmthe3rd]

This lady is the victim of one of these child-men who go out, and bed some random chick. She needs to get a clue and know about my pylons

[geise69]

This article is quite amusing. I just turned 30 this past year. I got married 3 years ago, have a great job as a 3d animator, own a house, have two dogs, and my wife and I both play video games. We also do a ton of other things. Just because this woman isn't getting anything from her Halo 3 playing boyfriend doesn't give her the right to flap her gums about video games being the cause of men being lazy asses. Talk about pulling at straws at her own personal issues.

[devdj]

i bet that every time this dike sees men playing video games that her vagina swells so big that it nearly jumps right out at ya she probably hasn't had it with a man in years.
talk about a right auld whore eh.

[kcajblue]

lol. written in an opinion piece.
like that will convince gamers to stop playing.

my cousin is around 21 and he still plays with his ds.
and i know when i get around that age ill still be playing.

[idapimp]

wow. she represents what i hate about the world. closed minded, over opinionated, pieces of crap. i bet she prolly makes threatening calls to fur dealers for PETA in her off time or protests shows like family guy as a hobby. get a life.

either that or she is old as dirt.

[Dr._Zoidberg]

She sounds like a bitter old hag who couldn't get a shag in a male prison.

Basically she wants guys to stop having fun and enjoying their lives and to start conforming to her ideals, the cow.

[R4mbo]

Haha, cant be considered adults^^ lol, THIS IS THE NEW GENERATION OF ADULTS. Personally I like these people, 50 years ago the parents had been much more violent in education and took everything to serios, does this make someone adult? Pah. Who says you cant have fun in your life when your adult? That Kay Hymowitz is a stupid sucker.

[VampDude]

I'm in my early 20's and I will never give up video games, I have a life but I'm actually known to take my video games (modified slimPS2) (http://s115.photobucket.com/albums/n304/vampdude/?action=view&current=PS2-MODIFIED_ScreenFliplid.jpg) with me wherever I go due to the fact I could never be without playing video games (even when I'm in my 30's).

[goity]

What a me-too sket...

[gumgod]

This lady's just PMSing or something. I'm 25, I have a house, a paid off car, a girl that I've been with for 8 years. We don't have kids yet, but I have a steady job and I'm stating my own business and still find time to play video games. If kids are "growing up" at an older age, it's because they had to go to college. If you continue the pattern that they've been in by going to school and living in a dorm of course they are going to party and drink. More and more people are going to college now because a high school diploma just doesn't cut it to get a good job these days.

[Spotfist]

This Kay is sooo right I can't believe you are all complaining! We should all be sat at home doing nothing. being really bored, and have no lives!

Why should we have the choice of doing what we want to do when we can all do what Kay wants to do?!

Oh wait I just realised why... CUZ IT's LAME! hehe

People wana have fun, if her idea of fun is nitting at home\stroking her cat's then thats her thang! I personally enjoying going out with loads of friends, how does that make me a child?

[No_one_in_particular]

When in doubt: blame it on games. You think these men she's stereotyping would really give two ****s if gaming wasn't around ? Would they hell as like. It's society. Stupid article with an underlying sexist stance.

[VFerg]

Price of living is huge. Finding a job to support that is hard. Women are also responsible for the reasons why we dont "commit". Putting blame on one thing for a whole world is just retarted. When it comes down to it I work my ass off all week, what do I want to do more then hang out, play some games, and go to bars? Of course someday I will settle down but that still wont stop me from playing a game or two. Im only 24 and even though my parents were on there own by 19 the times they lived in were better for making ends meet. You got payed less but material things were A LOT cheaper to buy. Houses are more then 10 times the amount now then when they were back when my parents were just starting! Now how the hell am I supposed to grow up when society wont let you!

[joezueno]

WOW See this is the screwed up part about these so called journalists, and the research they DO NOT DO!

I'm married, I have two children, heck My wife and I both play games Im 26 she's 22. I have a pretty good job, and I take care of my family with no problems. Its rediculous the blame "commitment issues" on video games, man these days everything is being blamed on games. Here's a thought stop trying to blame things and look at your friggin selves, obviously thats the problem not something like a video game

This so called journalist is pretty stupid if you ask me

[knifemind]

Crazy. I had to register just to comment on this.

She's comparing two totally different eras. Why not think back even farther...say 100 years or more. Back in the day you had to breed to survive. You had to work every day just to survive to the next one (this is most true in the US, where our country was still being built). Having children was essential because although it was more mouths to feed, it still gave you family better odds of success. Some of this mindset may also come from religious context (the whole, populate the earth deal) and people often subconsciously exhibit this obsolete ideology without knowing it.
In the 60s, we were still riding the ripples of the industrial revolution. Industry had been well established by that point, but it takes time for cultures to catch up with progress. From that angle, you can see why the old 'survival' mindset still lingered in the 60s. Now, into the 2000s, we're already plunging right into the technological revolution, and I think that over the next 10 - 20 years, things are going to get VERY interesting. Again, it will probably take several generations for our culture to adapt to the changes that are coming.

Ms. Hymowitz needs to wake up and realize that there is absolutely no reason whatsoever that a grown man in our culture make life decisions based on the life decisions that men made 40 years ago. Our culture is no longer one of survival, but of convenience and of choice. Why should every 30something man be out trying to raise a family? Men and women in modern society can live long, complete lives without ever having children. Despite what some say, your legacy is not a name, or a gene pool, but it defined by what you do with your life, and the lives you touch. Anyone who tells you different is selling something.

In my opinion, there are two things modern men need to do...
1. Take care of yourself
2. Be a good neighbor

'Nuff Said