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The time-honored tradition of stodgy men arguing over things they know nothing about continued in England during last Friday's game censorship debate in the House of Commons, with MP Keith Vaz showing us how it's done while speaking in defense of Julian Brazier's bill to add a censorship level above the British Board of Film Classification. In comparing the interactivity of video games to movies, Vaz unleashed this little gem:

However, someone sitting at a computer playing a video game, or someone with one of those small devices that young people have these days, the name of which I forget-- [Interruption.] PlayStations or PSPs, something of that kind.

"Well, whatever they are called, when people play these things, they can interact. They can shoot people; they can kill people. As the honourable Gentleman said, they can rape women."


The gentleman he is referring to is the bill's author Julian Brazier, though being completely off-base when quoting someone else doesn't excuse you from being off-base in the first place. The man can barely remember what these horribly offensive rape-machines are. When you have to struggle to remember what you were talking about in the first place it's probably a good indicator that you should sit down and shut up.

Luckily for British gamers, the House isn't completely full of uninformed idiots. Conservative MP Edward Vaizey actually took the time to check this claim out with the BBFC.

"Is the honourable Gentleman aware of any video game that has as its intention the carrying out of rape or that allows the game player to carry out such an act? The BBFC and I are unaware of any such game."
Look? Sense! What could the bill's author counter sense with, but more nonsense?
"I cannot comment on the rape in games issue, but I can tell the House what Stefan Pakeerah's father said after Warren Leblanc had murdered his son. He said that "Manhunt" is a game using weapons like hammers and knives...The object of Manhunt is not just to go out and kill people. It's a point-scoring game where you increase your score depending on how violent the killing is. That explains why Stefan's murder was as horrific as it was."
Aha! While I cannot comment on games that allow you to rape women as I know of none, look at this puppet on my other hand! It is a murderous puppet, with a hammer in hand! A video game puppet! Take that!

Taken, and rebutted by Minister of State Margaret Hodge, who explained that not only was the game found to have played no part in the murder, it was the victim who owned the game and not the attacker.

Perhaps the real story here isn't that Mr. Vaz decided to claim erroneously that video games let you rape women, but rather the fact the the House of Commons debates had people present with enough sense to challenge the claim. Good show!

http://kotaku.com/363120/british-mp-...you-rape-women ...

In what must be the laziest mod ever created by man, Instructables has posted a 7-step process on how to make your Nintendo DS into a notepad ripe for penciling notes. How they got to 7 steps we're not quite sure, since all you do is cover the case in Scotch Magic Tape. From there, you can safely write on the surface and even erase and start over.

To us, it seems like a simple, non-committal way to decorate the handheld however you'd like. In other words, the first person to scribble "the cake is a lie" all over their DS will rule the internet for precisely 2 minutes and 5 seconds. Pointing fish also come highly recommended.

http://kotaku.com/363260/nintendo-ds...encils-doodles ...

In what must be the laziest mod ever created by man, Instructables has posted a 7-step process on how to make your Nintendo DS into a notepad ripe for penciling notes. How they got to 7 steps we're not quite sure, since all you do is cover the case in Scotch Magic Tape. From there, you can safely write on the surface and even erase and start over.

To us, it seems like a simple, non-committal way to decorate the handheld however you'd like. In other words, the first person to scribble "the cake is a lie" all over their DS will rule the internet for precisely 2 minutes and 5 seconds. Pointing fish also come highly recommended.

http://kotaku.com/363260/nintendo-ds...encils-doodles ...

Keeping expectations in check is the key to having a wholly satisfying life, so we probably shouldn't have grown accustomed to the three-game cornucopia that once characterized Nintendo's weekly Virtual Console release schedule. Now that the standard has dropped to two-per-week and, occasionally (as today), one solitary game, we can't help but pine for the old days a bit. But it's our fault, really, for getting our nostalgia-fueled hopes up in the first place. This week's sole release is barely worth a bulleted list, but we'll use one anyway to describe:

Super Turrican (Super NES, 1 player 800 Wii Shop Points) - Developed by Factor 5 (of Rogue Squadron fame), the 1993 side-scrolling, run-and-gun sequel to 1990's Turrican has a decidedly old-school, Contra vibe to it. Those who want to get a feel for the gameplay without shelling out the Wii Shop Points should check out Hurrican, a more-than-satisfactory freeware clone.

http://www.joystiq.com/2008/03/03/vi...-stands-alone/ ...

PSW got one thing right, and that's our collective: Huh? The UK magazine would have us believe that Crytek's "hard-worked" code monkeys have confirmed -- "in many interviews" -- that Crysis is coming to PS3 later this year. Not true. But we can count this latest report as another adherent of the 'Crysis 1.5' theory, which here evolves into rumor of a hybrid-port that combines aspects of the original PC Crysis and its sequel into "almost 50% new game." Assuming that a Crysis-brand product will eventually land on PS3 (what else is the console version of CryEngine 2 good for?), we'd be curious to know how much of the alleged 'newness' would translate into better gameplay. Are we really talking Crysis 1.5 -- or just Crysis Lite? (Remember, Far Cry's leap to console had plenty of 'new,' just not any better.)

http://www.joystiq.com/2008/03/03/ru...e-50-new-game/ ...

Narrowly avoiding the obvious and overused pun, Namco Bandai has announced intentions to bring its Japanese Wii title Family Ski over to North America as We Ski. Like the Japanese version, We Ski will be fully compatible with the Wii Balance Board, allowing players to shimmy and slalom their way down the virtual mountains.

We Ski matches Nintendo's family-friendly aesthetic with cutesy customizable characters, and the option to import your Mii's and let them join in on all the snowy action. In addition to the standard ski modes, the game also includes free-style and photography modes, and allows up to four players to ski free on over a dozen courses.

With the title announced for a spring 2008 release, and the Wii Balance Board making its way to North America on May 19, We Ski will undoubtedly become the unofficial companion game to the Wii Fit package, as the first third-party software to support the peripheral.

http://www.joystiq.com/2008/03/03/na...n-spring-2008/ ...