Scientists Eliminate the Need for Males
Science has created all sorts of fascinating devices for us to enjoy, but now it's produced technology that could eliminate the biological need for the biggest whores for all that tech, males. English scientists figured out how to grow stem cells from a female embryo into sperm, and those she-cells are perfectly capable of doing the same thing guys do with some wood and a good splooge.
The good news, guys, is that this technique hasn't been perfected yet. Even though six out of seven of the baby mice produced using this experimental jism survived into adulthood, all of them suffered what the scientists called "adverse events," or what we here like to call "pussywhipped syndrome."