"Stand three feet away and dry your hands" says Nintendo

News from CVG

After all that malarkey last week about Wii Remotes flying from people's hands into TVs, lampshades and eyes, Nintendo has released yet another document on "proper Wii Remote usage", along with starting their wrist strap replacement service today.

The first guidelines have been said about a thousand times before, not to mention put into game loading screens and manuals:


Always wear the wrist strap while playing.

Keep a firm grip on the Wii Remote at all times.

Make sure people and objects are out of the range of movement before play begins.

How does that make those of you who have thrown the Remote across the room feel? Stupid? Small? We hope so. The document goes even further, just to cover all forms of ham-fisted calamities:


Players should keep at least three feet from their televisions and should dry their hands if they become moist.

Remember that the Wii Remote is responsive enough to detect minor movements - so excessive and forceful actions are not necessary.

The motions made are similar to real-life sports games, but the force is not.


Dry your hands? If you're one of those who are so sweaty you can't keep a hold on a Remote, and need a towel to dry your sweaty palms, send us pictures so we can laugh.

With pictures of smashed TVs and black eyes making front-page headlines for all the wrong reasons, Nintendo has to be seen to be doing something to fix the problem.

And we want to give Nintendo a helping hand so, to finish off, we'd like to add a few Safe Wii Usage pointers of our own:


Don't be an over-excitable clown.

If you've got clumsy, fat butter fingers try attaching the Remote to your hand with Sellotape.

If you do smash something, don't take pictures of it and send it to newspapers.

Don't hit your gran in the face. It could be fatal. Though if you do, send us pictures so we can laugh.