VC Update: Stealing People Edition

via kotaku

Here I've been trying hard every week to try and link the new Virtual Console titles into some sort of cohesive theme, and then this week Nintendo goes and brings their own theme with them. Considering how much later than normal the release hit today, they might just want to leave that to us in the future. Anyway, this week's theme is kidnapping, a surefire gaming storyline if ever there was one, until you start imagining what the victims are going through. Then it just gets...disturbing.

Final Fight (SNES - 800 Points): The game that eerily predicted Jesse Ventura's political career is back and the same as ever! Join Mike (my name) and Cody (my dog's name) as they beat the living hell out of anyone between them and their daughter/girlfriend respectively. Let's hope they can keep that straight.

Mighty Bomb Jack (NES - 500 points): The sequel to just plain Bomb Jack, this game finds Jack battling the demon Belzebut over 16 levels of an ancient pyramid in order to rescue the Pamera family, which for some reason makes me crave a turkey bacon on asiago cheese focaccia.

Ordyne (TGFX16 - 600 Points) Even side-scrolling shooter pilots' girlfriends get kidnapped! This shooter in the Gradius vein sees Dr. Tomari and Felix taking on the evil Kubuta, who wrongly believes that really pissing off the hero of the story by stealing his fiancée is a sound strategic plan. Idiot.

Maybe not the best week for the VC, unless you're a stalker looking to take things to the next level and looking for pointers.