You f**king What?

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October 5th, 2006, 16:44
wraggster

You f**king What?

News from CVG

Free rag thelondonpaper labels male gamers 'hairy-palmed wank-monkeys'

Think of a computer gamer and what comes to mind? Probably a lot of things but not necessarily, according to Stuart McGurk of thelondonpaper on October 4, "A zit-crusted, Olay-avoiding, hairy-palmed wank-monkey living with his mother". For a start, we don't live with our mothers (well Andy does but he's only 20, bless him).

The abuse doesn't end there friends. According to the article (on girl gaming), a rise in technology has now widened the market to "slightly older hairy-palmed wank monkeys". Cheers!

McGurk then goes on to say developers assumed gamers only wanted to kick someone in the groin and shoot them in face (hey, we like driving games too!), but gaming objectives "have now expanded beyond causing death and pain". Yeah, because that's all we've been able to do in the millions of games released over the last few decades...

Next time you see one of those purple paperboys handing out thelondonpaper near a Tube station, we strongly recommend you take it, thrown it on the ground and stamp on it. We always preferred London Lite anyway...

Comments anyone
October 5th, 2006, 16:49
Ci5tm Konfliqt

what a narrowminded individual.... im a gamer and i dont want to cause death and pain !!!
October 5th, 2006, 16:52
lamo_PSP_king

They must be the ones who are a bunch of f**king w**kers, im a gamer and i want to cause pain to those c*unts
October 5th, 2006, 17:22
rock_light

written by a feeee-male no doubt
October 5th, 2006, 17:24
Decius

How many gamers are there? I bet thats just offended and alienated half thier readers in one go. What kind of idiot journalists write for that rag?
October 5th, 2006, 17:32
bullhead

Hahahahaa....How descriptive!..."hairy palmed wank monkeys" Excellent! The journalist has probably not done wonders for the paper...
October 5th, 2006, 17:51
kersplatty

hmmm hairy palmed wank monkeys that says alot of what he does in his own time, he's one of those people who criticises everything. Im sure he is a bald palmed no-cocked monkey himself
October 5th, 2006, 17:52
scottishrew

sorry im a total noob at this. How do i tell if i have a TA-082 PSP?
October 5th, 2006, 17:57
muffinman

LOL

scottish you open your umd drive and check if there is writing on the motherboard in the top right corner. Theres a guide somewhere.

anyways i think it describes gamers to a t :p
October 5th, 2006, 17:59
scottishrew

lol k i suppose i will search for thou file.
October 5th, 2006, 18:25
Hawq

Quote:

Originally Posted by wraggster

Free rag thelondonpaper labels male gamers 'hairy-palmed wank-monkeys'

I resent that, I shave my hands ;)
October 5th, 2006, 18:41
SeanyP

That is utter rubbish!
*grabs razor*
October 5th, 2006, 19:26
eurogba

what was before hand-held gaming age ?
coin-op ?

less documented journalist ..
October 5th, 2006, 20:13
The Hombrew Hunter

He/she probably plays them all the time, wanking himself off.

But that's just ma thoughts.
October 5th, 2006, 20:18
Mabolsa Ritchie

What a loser trying to promote himself by looking for a target collective to ridicule.
October 5th, 2006, 20:19
ExcruciationX

What an idiot (The guy that wrote the article)...
October 5th, 2006, 20:42
splodger15

Quote:

Originally Posted by bullhead

Hahahahaa....How descriptive!..."hairy palmed wank monkeys" Excellent!

LOL :D
October 5th, 2006, 22:47
.:}<3\/!}\{:.

LOSER!!!!!! a very BIG LOSER!!!!!!!!!
October 6th, 2006, 00:11
gotmilk0112

probably some n00b just trying to get attention.
October 6th, 2006, 00:20
pibs

exuse me and call me stupid if u may but we normal humans don't grow hair on our palms, btw is that possible?

so im not so sure who he/she is reffering to.....

LoL to Hawq haha do u use that mach3 razor?
October 6th, 2006, 00:21
JD/

Quote:

Originally Posted by gotmilk0112

probably some n00b just trying to get attention.

yea people do this kind of thing for attention its sad really generalising people is not right this journalist is full of BS.
October 6th, 2006, 00:43
AtariFreek

I shave my palms when i get up in the morning THANK you very much.
October 6th, 2006, 01:31
wolfpack

she wouldnt be calling us hairy palmed wank monkeys if she started playing mario!!
October 6th, 2006, 01:52
juicethehedgehog

thats pathetic......
October 6th, 2006, 02:57
Junixx

yea thats kinda ridiculous
October 7th, 2006, 01:28
Adrenalin

lol, gaming steriotypes are pretty much dissapearing at least where i live
October 7th, 2006, 01:31
NoQuarter

Yeah the stereotypes are dissapearing,this article is like a last ditch effort to continue them,by the unenlightened
October 10th, 2006, 09:27
Tulvert

I would bet that a gamer wronged this person some how i.e.(slept with there mom, ate the last cookie, pee'd on their dog) whatever that gamers did it was really evil. To be serious though. I feel this is a type of racism. Like making in-fun of fat people or old people etc. Saying joking around is one thing but to really mean it is another.
October 10th, 2006, 21:30
Wils

Quote:

"A zit-crusted, Olay-avoiding, hairy-palmed wank-monkey living with his mother"

My girlfriend and kids are in for a f*cking shock, then!
October 10th, 2006, 22:07
Smurph

I call bullshit on this. it is physically impossible to grow hair on your palms without skin grafts.
October 16th, 2006, 21:30
Salted_Peanuts

Whoever said that is an idiot :confused:
October 16th, 2006, 21:43
ACID

Now thats a big A holl talking. Skepulations like always. I think most gamers are reall down to earth people that in the inside are like teddys and just want to be hughed.
October 17th, 2006, 02:39
AvengedSevenfold Fan

i live with my mom. im 13. i think video freak does, i think hes in high school. um ssaxdude is like 15 i think. bl8zed lives w/ his mom.... and some coder, and some other ppl
October 19th, 2006, 16:15
buckyohare

And what about female gamers?
October 19th, 2006, 16:28
cloud_952

Quote:

Originally Posted by buckyohare

And what about female gamers?

Psssh. They don't exist. That's just a myth perpetuated by the Illuminati. Bah, like females would play games.. =p

....

^_^; I actually have a very good female friend who plays games. Just joking.. don't kill me.
October 19th, 2006, 17:05
Apoklepz

McGurk?!?...Riiiiiiggghhtt... Nice job with the article;)
What happened, McGurk? Every other journalist get the full scoop on the best story and left you to pick up the poop by pointing the finger at us gamers?
Tsk.Tsk.Tsk. Grow some cojones if you wanna start shit with my kind of people...oh, and some better insults would be nice:p I thought you were a struggling stand up comedian coming up with that rubbish!...Now I see you're just a struggling journalist.

Say...Isn't McGurk the name of the new lunch guy that replaces Chef in the school cafeteria in South Park? Hahahaha...Succubus Episode.