why me, why her, why anyone ??

so sorry if this is junk and useless.. but im just in a down state so early in my life :(

i dont even know where to start..
there is this girl. i knew her since the end of 6th grade (im in 10th grade now), she is like my best friend (NOW..) but i love her. i havent seen her for about 2 years.. im only 15 and i know i should b enjoying my life and enjoy being young and have fun. but this girl is just the number one person i cant stop talking to, i cant stop thinking about. she has a boy friend now and she said somehting that she nd her bf did which got me pissed off.. sorta. what had happend was the i have been through a lot of shit in my life and this one little thing that she said just pulled the trigger and got me set off into pain and misery :( i told her all these things and meant every single one of them! i just wonder what the world would be like with out me being on the face of the earth :confused:
i know she doesnt love me, she doesnt admit it, she doesnt say if she loves me or not, she keeps quiet. i dont understand her, anyone else, or even myself. most of the time i try to be optimistic about things. but its so incredible that me being 15, i feel like i went through life and all the shit that has been going on (whether its involving me, or the world) im just tired and sick of sitting at home in front of the computer doing nothing. i just moved so i have like no friends (like i had any to start with..). so many haters and liars!!! :mad: :mad: :mad:
i just dont know what to do anymore. i live 2 hours away from the girl, she doesnt love me, she claims to be my Bff though. i cant always get what i want. but this is just such a different feeling that ive ever had in my life :confused:

here are some things i said to her today through IM:
--im not even gona ask wat else u done wit charlie, i dont want to hear his name again. idk if im making a big deal out of something that doesnt have to do wit me at all but i just hate liars and i regret everything that happend in the past and i regret being born

-- im 15 feel like im 60 or something cuz of all the shit thats been going on with me, my surroundings, my parents, my life, all there haters, all the liars, all the murderers.... it all happens too fast and you cant forget anything.

-- i guess im just love sick. thers nothing to love about this world.

--all these thoughts come to my mind
one of them is
what wouldve happened if i havent met you

--y should i love you if you dont love me and already have some one you love, why should i still talk to you if we havent spoken for years and possibly never see again, why did it have to be you that i fell in love with out of anyone in the world.. i dont want to be sound like im a freak for you or anything but this is one of my biggest issues. ive never set my lips on yours yet i still think of you. any of my other ex's i could care less for. you just wont get it if you really loved someone that you couldnt have. i hope i could forget about all the things i said and done.

sorry if this is too long.. i just have to get these things out someway to make me feel better.. i need help. i could keep going on with the story..

Wow, your IM's sound so ummm...

...EMO! (sorry to laugh at your pain) lol :D

This shit sucks a lot, im 17 and iv been havinbg the same thoughts for a long time, its not ab normal for these kinda things to happen, i had a situation very similar to yours with a girl that i liked, but idk it never turned out well and lately iv always been depressed when im not high, its a brutal cycle, and i dont really know how to help you, but your not alone thats for sure.

im about to start smoking weed if my situation becomes worse... or do something drastic..
im sorry MAN.. we need soemthing to help us..

life is complicated. crap happens.

if you want my honest opinion i'll give it but you're not going to like it.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by xg917

im about to start smoking weed if my situation becomes worse... or do something drastic..
im sorry MAN.. we need soemthing to help us..

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Stop being so melodramatic dude, your about to start being called an EMO and stuff because (and meaning no offense) your starting to sound like one.

as i said. theres nothing in this world to like. go give ur opinion. i cant feel any worse than i feel now.

okay sorry but im pissed now.
ive been through the same crap and i drug it out just like you and did all kinds of crap i shouldnt. ive been there i know what it is.

get the hell over yourself. you make stuff worse than it is in your head so that you can use it to get attention.

trust me when i tell you ive been to hell and back and getting this emo over a girl is total bullcrap.

suck it up.

yo your not alone because i have been going threw the same things you have.

but theres a deference between you and me i have friends that actually try to pull me away from that tipe of stuff.

and yo dont start smoking weed of course its going to take the pain away but only for a while so its not worth it

an advise start to do stuff that will take your head of the problems of this world like sports or get involved in community work that tipe of stuff helps

also get over it theres way to many girls in this life time to get crazy over one

for every guy theres 9 girls got that ok remember that

im out.. i think a good night rest will help me through. thanks guys. thanks ICE but im not trying to seek attention, im trying to seek help..

good night everyone.

I've felt that.

It sucks. If you're going to smoke Marijuana, make sure it doesn't absorb your life.

EDIT: i may have it easier than most i guess. since i was little i havent wanted to be around people so when someone pisses me off i just say bye and have no problems leaving them behind. no matter who it is. halve of my family is on that list.
im hardly ever upset at people since theres no point being mad at someone who you've left behind no?

if she doesn't love you, try doing something new. Try changing your image, your attitude, your lifestyle...
4 years ago something similar happened to me, then I changed and luckily I had success.

im more in the middle. today has just been a bad day. most of the time i try to be optimistic.

i just have to find a way to be more confident and not let these type of things get in my way of success.

im done giving advice. ive been told by people i may be insane.
my advice works for me but apparently no one else.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ICE

im done giving advice. ive been told by people i may be insane.
my advice works for me but apparently no one else.

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lol

nah man, you are actually helping :o

listen, im gona get bak to u guys 2morrow. ok? good night

Quote:

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Originally Posted by xg917

nah man, you are actually helping :o

listen, im gona get bak to u guys 2morrow. ok? good night

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lol ok. i guess the trick to my advice is the fact that when i was around 15 my entire life crumbled and i had to become the dad of the family basically. so instead of dealing with crap i just started leaving it behind me and forgetting about it. apparently most people find that more difficult than i do.

Aye, see, this is why I don't plan on dating till im old enough to marry. Ya know, so when I find the girl, it will already be time?


But anyway, this sounds alot like an Anime/ Great Expectations kinda thing which, on TV is awesome. But in life.....f***.

Hmmm...your having a classic day in my life. You learn there really is no one you can trust. No human. Anywhere. Your figuring out how the world really works, how it acts....how it kills. The world is no longer the place where you can go to your neighbors house for a cup of sugar without them saying "GTF OFF MY PROPERTY BI***!"

Now whatever you do DO NOT GO POSTAL LIKE EVERYONE ELSE HAS. Thats the line that seperates man from beast, the ability to be kind, to actually care about others and to do, not what you THINK is right, but what you know is right.


No you probably would rather hear me shut up about this, so 'll make a recommendation:


Trust me. If she is 15 too, I SERIOUSLY doubt that its even POSSIBLE for her and her boyfriend to stay that way until, you know, forever. When a breakup happens, no doubt there will be sadness.


Thats where you step in.

Show true caring, and I think you can take it from there :)

But for pete sake take it slow. And dont do anything obnoxious if ya know what I mean.

I have not been diagnosed as being mentally insane. But I may be...its wierd...I just know things. General things. without even being told them....

Its just wierd...

care about those very close and near to you. the ones you CAN trust and screw the rest. if that leaves you with 5 people its worth it.

go find Jesus and figure out how to move on in your life. dont let it beat you down, because no matter how much you denie it, shes just another girl. same thing happened to me, and i started going to church and i just got over it all, but in my case, "charlie" as said in your i.m., was my best friend.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ICE

okay sorry but im pissed now.
ive been through the same crap and i drug it out just like you and did all kinds of crap i shouldnt. ive been there i know what it is.

get the hell over yourself. you make stuff worse than it is in your head so that you can use it to get attention.

trust me when i tell you ive been to hell and back and getting this emo over a girl is total bullcrap.

suck it up.

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Agreed. take advice from iCE but not all the time cause that dude is insane.

Hrmmm.... I understand that completely. I had that problem with one of my best friends a while back, I don't know what it was, but I was depressed all the time or pissed off partially at myself. (Thats a story for another day though, PM me if your that interested X_X)
I had gone out with her at a time... but that refers to said story. Anyway back to the point...

How I found a way out was what most people said here, I changed my image and attempted to become more sociable and less shy, which has somewhat worked. Playing some kind of sport you like can help get your self esteem up, or doing something that gives you a good sense of accomplishment outside of video games and etc. Like working on a car or truck or jeep or something. You said you just moved but people will talk to you eventually, right? ;)

1 Thing I've learned is to try not to fall for your best friends, it only ends up hurting yourself. My friend I'm talking about is still one of my best friends, but I've tried my hardest not to fall for her, turning my eyes to other girls instead, remember, theres plenty of fish the sea if you know what i mean (eh cliche)

Theres no need to do anything drastic, just push through it.

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Originally Posted by VampDude

Stop being so melodramatic dude, your about to start being called an EMO and stuff because (and meaning no offense) your starting to sound like one.

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its all right for someone to be emotional, were not all freaks that dont have feelings

if i have noticed (which is really funny) is that emo is what geeks use to diss people now because they try to revert all the attention (unwanted i guess) to these people

the real people who are emo are, people who beat the shit outta themselves about it and even when they do we as human beings must do the mature thing which is to help them getting over whatever is causing them pain and suffering yada yada even if we think they're crazy and loserish people just think that could be us or anybody else

dont make matters worse, i think many of you here are older than me and understand this

Remember that there are going to be a lot of people you love in your life, including your friends and family, and weather you always stay close to them or not, that it was real and still matters. Shit like this happens to everyone, (if it doesn't then that's quite rare) and that this is part of growing up. I am certain that there will be worse things you will have to get through, just know that we all try to get through it, and that makes us human.

Shadowblind, you don't like young love? :p
That is when you learn to deal with this stuff.

All these emotions your feeling are all a part of growing up, you can only take these downs and think about them as a learning experience....

I had this girl i dumped for like one of the most popular girls in school, and the popular girl just turned out to be downright stupid... and now i regret ever leaving the original girl because i think she may have been the love of my life, and to hook back up with her now would be impossible seeing as how she moved :(

That literally breaks my heart everyday when i think about it, but I have managed to make myself feel alot better by trying to find god in my life (like avengedsevenfold fan said) and just try to move on...

Take my word on this... as I have multiple years on you, I suggest getting over it as soon as possible, 5 years from now youll look back and think " why the hell did I waste all that time in my life"

Its not worth it, and the only person your hurting is yourself!!!

Let me be the first to tell you, at that age you have no idea what love is. Shrug it off and enjoy life as best you can.

Also tetris999 made a good point, you can be emotional without being emo. I dont recommend doing it online though. This is what your family, close friends, and (i guess if it works for you) church is for. It should not be embarrassing to go to any of these people or organizations for help. I dont know what I would do without my best friends help, and i know he feels the same way about me too.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by AvengedSevenfold Fan

go find Jesus and figure out how to move on in your life. dont let it beat you down, because no matter how much you denie it, shes just another girl. same thing happened to me, and i started going to church and i just got over it all, but in my case, "charlie" as said in your i.m., was my best friend.

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You don't necessarily have to go to church to get over it. I'd doubt anyone would feel socially adept after something like that.

It does take time if it's anything significant (what can I say, I now have no desire for a romantic relationship).

I'd think of it this way. You've just moved house, so its about time to start makin new mates. Mixin with new people. Xg917 said he can't stop thinking about this one girl. maybe mixing with new people will clear ya memory of her. Seein as your only 15, im guessin you still go to school, which is perfect. You'd be communicating with people your own age. Its a crucial stage in life that people that age are at now.
There beginin to become the people they will be for the rest of your life. And believe me, you'll need people in your life. for your sanity.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Tetris999

its all right for someone to be emotional, were not all freaks that dont have feelings

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well theres the problem. emotions are over rated.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Elmarco

I'd think of it this way. You've just moved house, so its about time to start makin new mates. Mixin with new people. Xg917 said he can't stop thinking about this one girl. maybe mixing with new people will clear ya memory of her. Seein as your only 15, im guessin you still go to school, which is perfect. You'd be communicating with people your own age. Its a crucial stage in life that people that age are at now.
There beginin to become the people they will be for the rest of your life. And believe me, you'll need people in your life. for your sanity.

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Unless you're Autistic like me. You just can't be socially acceptable that particular day.

i thought it over last night. and im talking to the girl about it now.. i feel a lot better today. apparently flirting with black girls in my school helps a lot, haha dammit, they changed my schedule and now im in a different class so now i cant flirt wit those girls anymore :/