Mikey, I gotta say, it's a little wierd responding to a guy who would prefer the company of children - no matter how innocent - to women (!_!)
Jokes aside, though, I've found one possible solution to your quest, but it's not a sure-fire, one-size meets all solution.
Apple's free media software, Quicktime (available for both PC and Mac), is able to play SOME .swf files. I'm not sure exactly what the specifications to get .swf's to play in QT are, but I've noticed that in recent swf versions (7 and 8 at least), QT won't even open if they contain ANY action script, or have been compressed within the Flash authoring tool. I'm also going to guess that it can't open files that are protected from import, but I haven't actually tested that out. Earlier .swf versions had no problem opening in QT even with actionscript, but the playback wasn't always what you expected.
So, as you can see, using QT is going to depend heavily on the content and version of the files you're looking to convert. Once you can open a .swf in QT, QT PRO offers you the option of exporting the file to a host of formats including .avi and .mpg (the available export options may depend on the codecs already on your system). The catch here? QT PRO isn't free. The fee is usually very nominal (I think it's usually like $30), so it's no big deal, but if you're like most people and would rarely ever use the Pro features, it might be worth it to try to track down the registration # for the Pro version. When you download QT, it comes with all of the Pro features, they're just crippled, and all it takes to unlock them is a functioning registration key, which, in the past, different functioning versions of, have been known to float around the internet.
If you know any of the details (version #, are they compressed, are they import protected, do they contain actionscript - or for that matter if you could tell me where to download one to test on, preferably the smallest one) about the files you're looking to convert, I could try to get you deffinitave answers about whether this would work for your situation. In the meantime, I hope this helps, and I'm sure it's just one possible answer.
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