XBOX Live! Avatars. Ripping off Idiots Everywhere.

**VampDude** · September 4th, 2009, 23:57

Via: RadNerd

I have a bone to pick here… a gear to grind… a… wait, why do all of these sound like sexual innuendos?

Here’s the overview of my situation. I love Xbox Live. Love it. I won’t even buy a game unless it has multiplayer (or it’s a single player colossus like Batman) because I am not only a competitive showboat, but I just like playing with other people and talking mad $#@! while I do. I love the community too. All the interactivity is great and having your own creatively constructed avatar to represent you within this digital universe is a fun little gimmick, because hey, who doesn’t like creating little mini icon versions of themselves? You do it on every site you’re on and every game has some sort of “customize your character” option these days. We as a nation are OBSESSED with the reproduction and self promotion of avatars on this damn accursed but ultimately addictingly lovely vacation spot known as the internet.

Here’s where the gripe comes in. I’m seriously torn because as a marketer and designer myself I know the value of exploitation of financial budgets within targeted demographics and the selling of services/goods to said demographic, but once in a while (all the time) I see $#@! that just makes me go bat $#@! insane with the loss of logic displayed, not by the producer, but by the consumer of the goods presented. I am of course talking about today’s number one controversial topic in the hearts and minds of all mankind… XBOX Live avatar accessories.

Yes… That mother****er is buying A Q-TIP for 160 MS Points… why on earth would you do something like that? You know what this means right? If $20 gets you 1600 then that means 160 is equal to $2.00. TWO BUCKS!? Are you kidding me? For a goddamn ear swab that doesn’t do a ****in’ thing? Your avatar doesn’t even pull it out unless someone is intentionally staring at it on their friend dashboard menu for a solid 20 seconds or something! Are you kidding me? I could buy two double cheeseburgers at Mickey D’s for that price and that could support my life (unhealthy as it is) for a full day!!! WHY ON EARTH DO PEOPLE BUY THIS $#@!!? What takes me to the next level of pissed is the fact that these are the same people who won’t buy an amazing XBL Arcade game for 800 point’s ($10) because it’s too expensive! My mind. It explodes from the fathomless retardation.

Look at assholes face too. So excited that he just got ripped off. IT’S A Q-TIP! I can get a pack of 500 for 37 cents and you got 1 fake one that no one will ever see for $2 dollars. Saberdouche.

Oh wait! What’s this!!?? A special treat has been bestowed upon us!

Well aren’t we in luck! For a measley FOUR DOLLARS (AAAAARGH!!!!) You can watch your avatar play with a ****ing Warthog from the Halo series. Ok, ok, so let me get this straight… Someone out there was sitting at home, saw this on the XBOX marketplace and said “Ho-lee SHIAT! I MUST have this completely fake and useless remote controlled Halo buggy that none of my friends will ever see because it takes too long to actually show up on my avatar, but if they do see it they will think I’m slightly mentally deficiant for spending four dollars on something that does ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! *purchase*”

Really? People do this? I have friends that complain about not having enough money to order a ****ing soda with their meal but when we get on XBox Live I see that they bought this $#@! and it makes me want to explode with volcanic rage and rain little versions of myself down onto the world that would run around and punch people who purchased this in the throat. It would be kind of like Passover but instead of the Angel of Death Killing your first born child, I would just give you a severe “talking to” about your monumental form of idiocy and maybe slap your cat for just standing around and doing nothing to prevent this from happening.

Oh great…now what?

Gears of War Locust armor? More like One-eyed, semi mongoloid Admiral Ackbar disguised as Gene Simmons suit. This makes baby Snow Leopards cry. Luckily their tears are made of honey which is used to feed the small island nation of Haiti. So I guess avatar accessories have a purpose after all. OK, BUT THATS ONLY ONE PURPOSE… AND ITS NOT EVEN REAL!

Let’s see what other video game franchise mascots they can butcher!

FYI: That’s supposed to be Big Daddy from Bioshock. Oh and see those shirts next to him? Those cost money too. Yeah, I know, a T-shirt for your cartoon self on Xbox cost money. That should be a promotional item or something to promote the game but instead they make you pay for it. The worst part is I’ve actually seen people buy these! People I know in real life have purchased the “Splinter Cell” shirts. What kind of people am I hanging out with? Apparently I’m the odd one for thinking this way though, because why would I NOT want a ” Guitar Hero 5″ shirt for 2 bucks, and the guitar for $4? Oh because six dollars to dress up an imaginary video game doll is ****ING STUPID!

“Well my girl was Ada Wong and now she’s Ada Wong with a clone trooper helmet!” /Sigh. It costs actual real life money to look like that. Your republic credits are no good here.

Ah yes… the lightsaber. Not as clumsy or as random as a blaster but certainly much less practical. This one hurts my soul personally cause it’s expensive as balls and being the huge Star Wars enthusiast I am, it takes a lot out of me not to succumb to the dark side and buy this stupid tripe. I know they are just exploiting the Jedi in me but they made a crucial mistake in making your avatar look like a dyslexic wildebeest as it dance around with the saber in what could be easily mistaken as the “Star Wars Kid” out-takes.

My avatar. I’m sure you’re charmed. This $#@! is magical unadulterated majesty. All in all I don’t really care that people are spending money on this trivial poop and more power to the companies making money off it. I’m just saying that I think it’s absolutely bat-$#@! insane that people are dropping this kind of cash on nothing at all when you can look stylish and charming like me for absolutely free. Stop buying the overpriced $#@! and go buy two tacos at Jack-in-the-Box for 99 cents.

**Shadowblind** · September 5th, 2009, 00:25

No way in heck I'm gonna read that whole thing, but if its a rant about the stupidity of cost of add-ons for avatars, I absolutely agree.

I'd be willing to pay probably 25 cents to a dollar on the costumes IF I was able to go into a home-like world with the avatars. Home may be a piece of crap too, but at least they got the part about showing off what you buy right.

**fg-54** · September 5th, 2009, 05:45

I see what you man VampDude, I was exited for a lot of these costumes but then when I saw the price I was like WTF? Do they expect us to pay that much for this? I hope no one buys their crap so they have to lower the price :P

Actually.... even if no one buys it they probably won't lower the price, I can see them doing more like a 30% off thing and advertising that on the dashboard.

**VampDude** · September 5th, 2009, 13:17

Originally Posted by Shadowblind

No way in heck I'm gonna read that whole thing, but if its a rant about the stupidity of cost of add-ons for avatars, I absolutely agree.

I'd be willing to pay probably 25 cents to a dollar on the costumes IF I was able to go into a home-like world with the avatars. Home may be a piece of crap too, but at least they got the part about showing off what you buy right.

I read the whole thing on RadNerd, it's basically a rant on the stupidity in prices for avatar add-ons that don't do anything and the stuff that takes too long to load meaning nobody would see them anyway so a waste of $2-4.

A world would be awesome, especially if you could use the avatar items... Either to attack or play with other peoples avatars, that would be really cool and possibly encourage me back to the Xbox scene and as a Live customer.

Originally Posted by fg-54

I see what you mean VampDude, I was exited for a lot of these costumes but then when I saw the price I was like WTF? Do they expect us to pay that much for this? I hope no one buys their crap so they have to lower the price :P

Actually.... even if no one buys it they probably won't lower the price, I can see them doing more like a 30% off thing and advertising that on the dashboard.

The people who get the money, I believe are the people who design the avatar items (like on that crappy Second Life game). Personally, I think they should be alot cheaper or FREE when you own certain titles (unlockables even?).

**fg-54** · September 7th, 2009, 03:33

Oh ya, I agree. Still, we got Avatar Awards :P the only game to support it as of now is Splosion Man which comes with three shirts and one dress :P I don't think the update has been released for it yet tho.

**aleencost** · September 8th, 2009, 11:18

This summed it up for me: My avatar. I’m sure you’re charmed. This $#@! is magical unadulterated majesty. All in all I don’t really care that people are spending money on this trivial poop and more power to the companies making money off it. I’m just saying that I think it’s absolutely bat-$#@! insane that people are dropping this kind of cash on nothing at all when you can look stylish and charming like me for absolutely free. Stop buying the overpriced $#@! and go buy two tacos at Jack-in-the-Box for 99 cents.
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I'm certainly not going to pay for any of those accessories, not even a lightsabre.