I'm tired of Sony's bull$#@! - Maddox

[wraggster]

Some dude called Maddox posted this on his site:

You may know Sony most readily as the company that recently recalled something on the order of every laptop battery ever made because of a small glitch (they explode). Then there was the "rootkit" debacle, where Sony secretly installed hidden bull$#@! on your computer. One of Sony BMG's presidents handled the situation with the delicacy of a gang $#@! with this quote: "Most people, I think, don't even know what a rootkit is, so why should they care about it?" Good point, $#@!-head! And before that, Sony was known for its $#@!ty optical drives in their PS2s, resulting in a class action lawsuit. The word "$#@!ty" in the previous sentence is a bit misleading, since I also use the word to describe Renée Zellweger's life, and having to void your warranty by adjusting a cog to fix a misaligned laser inside your PS2 is slightly $#@!tier.

Not content with the reaming they give consumers with their shoddy products and condescending attitude, Sony determined that it didn't have enough bad press, so they decided to wield their giant gnarled $#@! of corporate greed again, this time training it on a small-time import shop called "Lik Sang." Lik Sang was a haven for nerds who wanted to import games and systems from other countries. It turns out that Lik Sang broke some major laws that not only earned them the scorn of Sony, but pissed Sony off to the point where they sued Lik Sang into oblivion. So what was this grave infraction committed against Sony that not only threatened the very foundation of this giant multi-national corporation, but warranted destroying the lives and careers of a group of dorks running a gaming website? Simple: they committed the mortal sin of selling Japanese PSPs to European gamers. Oh no! Not that!

When I read the law suit, I did a double take to make sure I read it correctly. Sony is suing to prevent people from selling PSPs? Great move, morons! Because if there's anything Sony needs right now, it's fewer people buying PSPs. In fact, PSP sales are part of the reason Sony expects to lose $1.7 billion dollars in their gaming divison by March. That means that I and anyone else who makes any money at all between now and March (or at least manages not to lose more than $1,699,999,999.99) will officially make more money than Sony's gaming division. I rule.

This isn't the first time Sony bullied a gaming website for selling PSP imports. In June of 2005, Sony sued a website called ElectricBirdLand (Sony literally hired men in dark sunglasses to deliver the papers to the defendant, because Sony is insecure about the size of its penis), stating that the sale of Japanese PSPs to the UK could hurt their ability to exploit the "excitement and anticipation of the market." Hey Sony, you know what else could help you exploit the excitement and anticipation of the market? The PSP not sucking:

Sony's strategy towards portable gaming seems to be to take the same $#@!ty first generation Playstation games that weren't great to begin with, and make them portable so now we can take an example of Sony's utter-inability-to-stop-sucking with us everywhere we go. SNORE. Nobody wants to buy movies in your stupid proprietary format, assholes!

So why does a company that relies on consumer satisfaction and brand recognition treat its fans with such contempt? Because...

Sony hates you.

Sony would love nothing more than to see you and your family suffer. Sony is like that psycho-ex who you had a few good times with, but was too clingy and the sex got boring. Now it's over and Sony is still stewing about it by leaving you voice mail asking for another chance and promising it "can change."

Tough $#@! Sony. We've moved on. We're dating your younger, hotter sister, Wii. Even your fuglier step-sister, Xbox 360, looks hotter than you do. At least she's been around the block a few times and knows how to turn tricks. You've got nothing, and it's going to stay that way until you stop being a crabby old ****.

Wow that was a tad controversial, anyone got an opinion on what was posted?

[jools]

wow...

sony have kinda f*ckd up recently...

[bullhead]

ha ha! Maddox the pirate. He's great! Read his articals at www.maddox.xmission.com

He released a book recently, im a big fan of his and ive read all his articals. He hates things like poor grammar.

[F9zDark]

Too little too late I say. People have moved on, yes, from the whole Lik-Sang debacle.

I have never liked 'sensationalism' and really anyone relying on it to prove a point is just trying to bully people into believing such.

Fact is, the PS3 has shown Sony's better side. Once word about the PS3's abilities and user-friendliness and the ease of modding and hacking gets out, Sony's bad image will quickly dissipate.

[Shuin0]

Nothing could be more true then that sony deff needs to just die

[tsaikimon]

I'm a Sony fan and even I found my self nodding in agreement to this. **** Sony, they're a bunch of assholes as proven by the above point by point......but even worse......it seems that I'm the pathetic boyfriend that just can't get away from that psycho bitch of a girlfriend. HELP!!!! HELP ME!!!!! I bought a 360 and I'm enjoying GEARS but somewhere deep down I'm hoping the PS3 will prevail. DAMN IT. Help my sick pathetic ass.

[chrono75]

Man, I really love my PSP so what I'm about to say, please, do not think I am talking about Sony's PSP...

Okay first off; Yes, I have a myspace profile. There are these bulletin things on there and for some reason a person logged in as me and started and started some ad bull$#@! about how Sony Laptops are the best laptops ever. I wrote him back with a tasty message that included a lot of profanity So right there, sony ****ing sucks getting people to do that $#@! or if they don't even know these people are doing this then that's even worse for them... I think.

2nd. The PS3... I'm sorry PS fans, the PS3 is gonna bomb. It's not half as inventive as the Wii and about 1/3 as powerful as the Xbox360.

Sony needs to pack up their balls and get out of the console and laptop industry cause' they think that most people who use computers are idiots. I think if you spend the money on a computer that right there is proff enough you're not an idiot.

Sony is running in circles with their technology and the PS3 is gonna be a let down. DON'T BUY A PS3!! Get an Xbox360 and if u want reasons, I'll list them!

Feck you sony and thanks for the PSP but I found mine that some kid dropped so I didn't even pay for that! LOL

[Emeriastone]

Why was this posted? I don't recall this being an editorial column.

[krazyx86]

chrono the ps3 is not 1/3 the power of the 360, if anything, you have it backwards.. anyway, i agree with some of the things he has said, and i disagree with a few others. but, either way, the guy needs to relax.. if he thinks it sucks so bad, then he should stop supporting them by buying their products. and if he's not buying them now because of certain things, then he has no room to complain about something that's not affecting him.

and by all means, eff sony. but that doesn't mean i think they suck, or their products suck. imo, they just have horrible service and a horrible advert. team.

[psp411]

Sony's bad image will quickly dissipate.

hahaha... not even... sony is a b*tch ass company.
BRRRAAAAAPP to the article.... its the truth . sony has been screwin around with its customers and i bet theyll continue to do so. Who cares if they wanna bring out ps3... ps3 is overpriced adn i rly dun care if it can do homebrew. im not payin $600+
to play some games that i can play on my computer or my homebrew filled psp.

The PS3... I'm sorry PS fans, the PS3 is gonna bomb. It's not half as inventive as the Wii and about 1/3 as powerful as the Xbox360.

ps3 is more( i mean WAY MORE) powerful than xbox 360.... as sony said... 23+ times more powerful than ps2 or sumthin like that. but why the f*ck will u need better than xbox360?!?!?!? its graphics r amazin!!!! ps3 is overdoing it. as far as im concerned, i would satisfy with gamecube graphics with any console( this is why wii will b siik... n y im gonna get it).