Rate The Joke Above You

[quzar]

A woman walks into the bar and asks for a double entendre. So the bartender gives it to her.

[xg917]

wats the difference between a jew and a canoe?

Spoiler!

eventually, the canoe will tip.

not funny? too bad

[JKKDARK]

There was this gay, called Zion. Once upon a time, he bought a PlayStation 3. The next day he got AIDS and got $#@!d by a goat... with AIDS. Due to this, he got double AIDS, leading to internal bleeding from the outside, which actually wasn't very internal at all. He went to a doctor, which wasn't actually a doctor, it was a hooker (Zion was dyslexic and could not read), so he got triple AIDS. Triple AIDS cancels out all the effects of AIDS, so he got lucky. Later that day he was run over by a bus.
The moral of the story? Don't buy a PlayStation 3 unless you're going to get $#@!d by a goat and a hooker with AIDS. Also don't cross the road because a bus will hit you

[sourced]

There was this gay, called Zion. Once upon a time, he bought a PlayStation 3. The next day he got AIDS and got $#@!d by a goat... with AIDS. Due to this, he got double AIDS, leading to internal bleeding from the outside, which actually wasn't very internal at all. He went to a doctor, which wasn't actually a doctor, it was a hooker (Zion was dyslexic and could not read), so he got triple AIDS. Triple AIDS cancels out all the effects of AIDS, so he got lucky. Later that day he was run over by a bus.
The moral of the story? Don't buy a PlayStation 3 unless you're going to get $#@!d by a goat and a hooker with AIDS. Also don't cross the road because a bus will hit you

6/10. funny, but not so funny.

A girl Asks her mom about what a $#@! is. Her mom Replies, "Dont Worry honey, if youre a good girl, you'll get one". then the girl asks, what if im bad? the mom replies, then you'll get more:rofl:

[pibs]

A man walking into a bar sees a sad horse posted outside, ignores it and continues into the bar.

The man asks for a beer and also asks why there was a sad horse outside of his bar.

"Tell ya what," the bartender suggested; "I'll give you a free round of drinks if you can make him laugh."

The man goes outside for a minute or two and tells the bartender to take a look. The horse was laughing uproariously. And so the bartender gives the man his rounds.

The next day the man walks into the bar and sees that the horse is still laughing. The man continues into the bar and asks the bartender for a beer.

"That was AMAZING what you did yesterday" the bartender told the man. "I'll give you another free round of drinks if you can make him sad again" and so the man takes the offer and walks outside for another minute or two and tells the bartender to take a look.

The horse was wallowing in tears. "Before I pour you the rounds you have to tell me how u made that horse laugh" said the bartender. The man confidently said I told him my $#@! was bigger than his. "But then how did you make him sad again?"The bartender asks.

The man replies I showed it to him.

[DarthPaul]

4/10

I've heard that one before.

The best joke so far is sourced's one. :rofl:

Ok here is mine:

There was a little girl and her mother walking through the park one day and they saw two teenagers having sex on a bench.

The little girl says, "Mummy, what are they doing?" The mother hesitates then quickly replies, "Ummm they are making cakes."

The next day they are at a zoo and the little girl sees two monkeys having sex. Again she asks her mother what they are doing and her mother replies with the same response, "Making cakes."

The next day the girl says to her mother, "Mummy, you and Daddy were making cakes in the lounge last night, eh?" Shocked, the mother asks, "How do you know?"

She says, "Because I licked the icing off the sofa."

Lol, here's another! Sorry, I couldn't hold it anymore:

There was a young girl who lived up in the hills of Tennessee. She was about to turn sixteen, and couldn't wait to get her driver's license.

She had been subjected to much ribbing from her older brother, telling her that she was too dumb to get her license.

When the big day came around, she passed the test with flying colors.

She rushed home and asked her father if she could use the car that night so she and her friend could go in to town where all the cool kids were at.

The father said, "Sure honey, but you'll have to give me a blow-job first."

Wanting to go to town real bad, she agreed.

As she went down on her father, she suddenly jumped up an said "Dad your penis tastes like poop"

Oh yea, her father replied, "I forgot, your brother's got the car tonight."

Rate any of them. If you want to rate them both, well, better.

[JPJunkie]

Rate any of them. If you want to rate them both, well, better.

Both 10/10

Proudly showing off his new apartment to a friend late one night, the drunk led the way to the bedroom, where there was a big brass gong. "What's that brass gong for?" asked the friend. "It's not a gong. It's a talking clock," the drunk replied. "A talking clock? How's it work?"

Spoiler!

"Watch this," said the drunk. He took a hammer, gave the gong an ear-shattering pound and waited. Someone on the other side of the wall screamed: "Hey, you jerk. It's 3:00 in the morning!"

[splodger15]

6/10


A man came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed.

'Just where the heck do you think you're going!', said the man.

'I'm going to Las Vegas', said the wife, 'I just found out I can get $400 a night for what I give you for free!

'The man said, 'Wait a minute!', and then ran inside the house only to come back a few minutes later with his suitcases in hand.

'Where the heck are you going?', said the wife.

The man said, 'I want to see how you're gonna live on $800 a year!'

[JPJunkie]

6/10


A man came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed.

'Just where the heck do you think you're going!', said the man.

'I'm going to Las Vegas', said the wife, 'I just found out I can get $400 a night for what I give you for free!

'The man said, 'Wait a minute!', and then ran inside the house only to come back a few minutes later with his suitcases in hand.

'Where the heck are you going?', said the wife.

The man said, 'I want to see how you're gonna live on $800 a year!'

6/10

A young man called directory assistance. "Hello, operator, I would like the telephone number for Mary Jones in Phoenix, Arizona."
"There are multiple listings for Mary Jones in Phoenix," the operator replied. "Do you have a street name?"
The young man hesitated, and then said, "Well, most people call me Ice Man."

[ExcruciationX]

Jeez, you people have a warped sense of humor...