wraggster, i am regret to inform you that the article you posted if you did not know is fake and was a joke.
"The Onion is a United States-based parody newspaper published weekly in print and daily online. It features satirical articles reporting on international, national, and local news as well as an entertainment newspaper and website known as The A.V. Club. It claims a national print circulation of 710,000[1] and says 67 percent of its Web site viewers are between 18 and 44 years old." ~ quoted from wikipedia
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