Wii Video Games Blamed For Rise In Effeminate Violence

[wraggster]

Concerned parents are again blasting the Nintendo Wii for an incident of effeminate violence following a 13-year-old boy's limp-wristed attack on three of his classmates at a Cleveland-area middle school Tuesday.

The incident—the sixth of its kind in as many months—has left parents searching for answers and struggling to comprehend the dainty assault, which left the necks of two sweaters severely stretched out and countless fingers stubbed.

Despite graphic simulated violence against teensy little bunnies and realistic depictions of dangerous plungers, video game Rayman Raving Rabbids is popular among children as old as 18.
"These games are a prissy little menace to our society," said Linda Roberts, 35, a mother of three and founder of the group Parents Against Wii, which is suing Nintendo for $52 million in damages from two recent swattings. "One of these days, the red marks on our children's arms might not just go away after five minutes."

The Wii, now the most popular gaming system in the country, most recently came under fire last month, when 15-year-old Los Angeles student Brian Strickland, who reportedly plays Wii Sports tennis, was expelled for flicking his wrist back and forth at a fellow sophomore's head. And in January, 12-year-old Boulder, CO native Andrew Conner, a fan of the WarioWare: Smooth Moves game, was hospitalized after swinging his arm like an elephant trunk into members of the eighth-grade boys basketball team.

"The Nintendo company is knowingly exposing our children to disturbing acts of foppishness right in our living rooms," said Roberts of PAW. "Even more frightening, the motion-sensing technology teaches them that the only way to resolve conflicts is to flail their arms in acts of fruity aggression."

Wii's critics claim that the sissified games use disturbing pastel imagery, graphic representations of adorable characters, and disorienting kaleidoscopes of color to prey on children's basest flaming instincts. The game Dewy's Adventure, in which children control a cute droplet of water who must return fruit to a magical tree, is often cited as one of the worst offenders.

"Three years ago, our children were not prancing after their peers and brutally flicking each other on the playground," Roberts said. "They were well-behaved wimps who spent their recess periods hiding from bullies. What are these terrible games doing to our country's sallies?"

While no scientific link has ever been established, a report to be released by PAW later this month indicates an alarming correlation between Wii's growing popularity and a shocking 200-percent increase in wuss-on-wuss violence. In addition, the group documented 634 incidents of fussy skirmishes, all of which ended in tears.

According to the American Psychological Association, prolonged exposure to cutesy video-game violence can increase aggressive frolicking and angry fluttering in children. Paula Greer, co-chair of the APA Committee on Violence in Video Games and Interactive Media, warned that Wii games reward players for explosive girly behavior rather than enforcing proper negative social consequences.

"The Wii's fluffy flowers and bright peach-colored sunlight glorify chasing precious talking rabbits with plungers," Greer said. "What kind of message is that sending to our children? That it's 'cool' to act like some kind of electrical elf or banana fairy?"

The APA is working with the Entertainment Software Rating Board to update its rating system to reflect the perceived influence of Wii on children's behavior. According to suggested guidelines, games that contain insipid language, vigorous paint scrubbing, and mild to moderate bell-ringing will be rated P for Pansy; those that include simulated sand-pouring and intense lily-pad racing will be rated NP for Namby-Pamby.

But some believe critics of the Wii are overreacting. Benjamin Warren, a First Amendment lawyer based in New York, defended the video game manufacturer, claiming it alone did not invent priggish hostility.

"Limp-wristed flapping has been around for as long as children have had wrists," Warren said. "Our society has always blamed whatever new trend comes along, be it windmills, knitting, the harpsichord, or Jazzercise."

Added Warren, "Wii is just the latest target—a fuzzy, pink, cuddly little target with big eyes and a squeaky voice that just makes you want to eat it up."

http://www.theonion.com/content/news...ed_for_rise_in

[jawa128]

wraggster, i am regret to inform you that the article you posted if you did not know is fake and was a joke.

"The Onion is a United States-based parody newspaper published weekly in print and daily online. It features satirical articles reporting on international, national, and local news as well as an entertainment newspaper and website known as The A.V. Club. It claims a national print circulation of 710,000[1] and says 67 percent of its Web site viewers are between 18 and 44 years old." ~ quoted from wikipedia

[iniquitous_beast]

Relax, jawa128. Of course Wraggster knew it was a joke. Anyone who reads the whole article can tell that it is a joke. It is a damn funny joke though, and it deserves to be on the front page.

[JKKDARK]

Maybe a joke, but seeing related news I think it can happen.

[Hawq]

I think a certain mr J T may not get the joke if he sees it somewhere

[Shadowblind]

ahHA! So video games ARE THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL! MUHAHAHAH! I knew it! Jack Thompson, father, you were right! The Jedi shall certainly fall now! MWAHAHAHAHAH! LET THE FIRE OF OUR ANTI-VIRTUAL DREAM COME TO PASS!!!!!!11111oneoneone

no.

but i actually want Jackie to see this. I wonder if he even knows that the protagonist in Bioshock is named Jack Thompson.

[limming]

Haha, I love the onion.

[Zimond]

Anyone who reads the whole article can tell that it is a joke.

Why is that? Yes its completly rediculous but how often have we seen that stuff happening for real? Just right know some bavarian (Part of Germany) politicians said they want to ban the Horde from WoW (cause these bad character could have bad influence ect) ... and this is no joke!

[sirhax0r]

"The incident—the sixth of its kind in as many months—has left parents searching for answers and struggling to comprehend the dainty assault, which left the necks of two sweaters severely stretched out and countless fingers stubbed."

OH NO FINGERS GOT STUBBED